When is my mommy coming home?...if my kids will look back on their childhood days and remember a fun mom? Or will they remember a mom who worked too much, cleaned too much, and was tired all the time?
Each day I wake up with the same goal: I will spend more time with my girls. And each night, I feel like I failed. That I spent too much time trying to work, and then play catch up on my days off from working. So I vow that tomorrow will be different, I'll do better, have more fun, play more, and snuggle more.
And then tomorrow comes and nothing changes.
I'm so tired from busting my rear for 12 hours, and have a whole house to clean, laundry, dishes, cooking. And my poor kids get the leftovers.
Maybe you all are better at this work/family balance thing. Maybe you all think I am. Maybe tomorrow I will be.
But tonight, with my girls just begging for my attention, I am not feeling very confident in the whole "having it all" charade.
But, tomorrow, I'll get up. I'll go to work. I'll do the best I can, and give the most I can. And then, I'll come home, and kiss my babies goodnight. Because they will already be asleep.
And when Saturday comes, I'll try again to be the "best mommy ever." And keep hoping that my girls remember that part of their childhood. The part where they knew that their mommy loved them, even when she was tired.
4 comments:
oh jill, im feelin ya. you know i have a very lovely little couple who cleans my house and they are pretty cheap. i love them and i love my life since i found them.
all of a sudden i have many more free hours every day and less stress.
but this doesn't mean that your not coming in extra saturday night, right?
Oh I feel the same way!!! The chores never end and so many people say that all the laundry, etc will still be there the next day. But I just can't let it sit there. It is hard to juggle family and household duties and work. I'm glad someone else feels the same way I do. I think your girls will remember the good times though.
jill you have wise friends.
i too think the house cleaning help is well worth the money.
people who love or feel the "need" to do their own.....yeah....you know what i am thinking.......
love u, mom
Jill-
I think and have always thought that you are a wonderful mommy. And I am confident that the girls will look back when they are mommies too (I know weird thought) and think you were the most amazing mom. I think all moms worry that they aren't doing the best they can, but the truth is simply no one is perfect and it is easier for us to point out our own flaws than it is to realize what we do well. Now that I have the summer off I am soaking up as much time with Bella as I can, so when I have to get a job again I hopefully won't feel so guilty about working so much.
I also often worry that people think I am too young to be a good parent to Bella. Actually I have had strangers make comments about my age in relation to being a mom. But I know that I am doing the best I can and that is more than good enough for Bella.
Love your cousin,
Cindy
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