Round 'Em Up

Anybody know where my big sister went?

Today, I took my girl to Kindergarten roundup. Ellie didn't want to go. She kept telling me she would be too sad to go, that she wanted to just stay home with me. Ok fine, we'll just stay home forever. I'll homeschool you and you will never have to go to Kindergarten

Daddy did not agree.

So, off we went to visit our new school. It is only a few years old. The building is still shiny and new. In we walked though the front doors.

I hated it immediately. There are cinderblock walls. Cinderblock! They use that in prisons!! My baby cannot go, she is too little, too small. There was a class full of bigger kids in the hallway. She clung to my hand and I fought the urge to scoop her up and run the other way. A mom from the neighborhood waived at me as we walked down the hallway.

We walked in the room, and I began to fill out forms. One of the teachers gave her a nametag and took her by the hand and said, "Come on Ellie, lets go play!" Ok, now I know I'm overreacting here, but isn't that exactly what I've told her not to do, go off and play with strangers? I mean, I don't know these people. I'm sure they're lovely, but where the h*** are you taking my baby? You can't take her to the Kindergarten classroom. She doesn't like Kindergarten. Ok, mama, just breathe. No child molesters here, just sweet teachers.

The principal came and shook my hand. I couldn't even say anything. I was afraid I'd melt down, and then I'd be remembered as that mom. You know, that crazy lady who broke down filling out the paperwork. The one who can't stand to let her baby be walked 10 feet away from her. And then the teacher from the next room comes to me and the stressed out parents next to me.

"Excuse me, are you Emily and Ellie's parents?" OMG, OMG!! What have you done to my baby! Where is she, what happened! WHY ARE YOU STANDING THERE GRINNING AT ME, YOU SADISTIC LADY?

"Yes, I'm Ellie's mom" (Ok, so at least it didn't come out crazy)

"Well, they are just having the best time, they are playing together and coloring. You are going to have a hard time making them leave!"

And I hear it. She is laughing in the next room. I go over to investigate, and sure enough, there she is, playing with her new friend. They are having a puppet show with the dolls. And neither one wants to leave. She loves Kindergarten. She can't wait to go in the fall. She can't wait to show her school to her daddy. She can't wait to meet new friends, and have art, and P.E. and music. And all of the sudden, she is in love with Kindergarten.

I sucked it up as we walked out. I oohed and aahed over the walls, covered with pictures that I didn't see before. We peeked in the lunchroom, and the gym. We went out to dinner to celebrate, and had ice cream. And she is so very excited.

I hope she'll do OK. Because I'm not going to. Obviously

R.I.P. Laptop, You Are Missed

My big sister and I were being fairies.

Aren't I just so pretty?

Uh, mom, there's someone looking at me in here...

Ok, so my laptop has officially died. The screen on it went out, which is the true death of a laptop. So I am behind on things because I would have to use the desktop computer, which is in the office. And away from two mobile children who would wreack havoc on my house in the few moments I was gone. Not to mention this fancy camera takes forever to download pictures....

We finally got the swingset back up this weekend. Not nearly as costly to fix as I'd originally thought. Now we have found a few other projects to work on that will take up our time and money.

Kailey is trying so very hard to walk, but she just isn't there yet. But really, who needs walking when this is your mode of transportation?

Sometimes I Wonder...

When is my mommy coming home?

...if my kids will look back on their childhood days and remember a fun mom? Or will they remember a mom who worked too much, cleaned too much, and was tired all the time?

Each day I wake up with the same goal: I will spend more time with my girls. And each night, I feel like I failed. That I spent too much time trying to work, and then play catch up on my days off from working. So I vow that tomorrow will be different, I'll do better, have more fun, play more, and snuggle more.

And then tomorrow comes and nothing changes.

I'm so tired from busting my rear for 12 hours, and have a whole house to clean, laundry, dishes, cooking. And my poor kids get the leftovers.

Maybe you all are better at this work/family balance thing. Maybe you all think I am. Maybe tomorrow I will be.

But tonight, with my girls just begging for my attention, I am not feeling very confident in the whole "having it all" charade.

But, tomorrow, I'll get up. I'll go to work. I'll do the best I can, and give the most I can. And then, I'll come home, and kiss my babies goodnight. Because they will already be asleep.

And when Saturday comes, I'll try again to be the "best mommy ever." And keep hoping that my girls remember that part of their childhood. The part where they knew that their mommy loved them, even when she was tired.

Bathtime Pics

Gotta love bathtime, and my princess ducky
Splish, Splash, I was takin' a bath....

What are you doing?

I know we've ALL felt this way about our computer...

So, finally, I think the baby has this naptime thing figured out. She will actually nap for longer than 30 minutes at a time, with is fabulous. Now I can actually get to some things once in awhile. Ellie and I made cookies this morning after our doctor's visit. We did not get to go to playgroup today. Ellie is still coughing, and I would feel rude hauling her over to hack on all the other kids toys. And we are supposed to be tackling the playroom, but I think we will do that later.

I am going to try to get a video of my mobile baby tonight, so maybe I can get it posted.

I'm not feeling especially profound today. I do want to comment on that last picture. Since Matt is a computer guy, we have many, many parts of computers at our house. Well, since we are decluttering, that means some of the deceased pieces have to go. We are no longer a retirement home for aging and diseased pieces of old computers that should have gone on to a better place a long time ago. So, Ellie got her chance to smash them up. She really had great fun, and I had visions of doing that to a certain portable sat monitor that I am forced to work with...

Snow Day

Ellie making her snow angels
Sledding for the very first time

We have the best sledding hill in our yard

Just getting pulled around!

Well my girls enjoyed the very last snowfall of the seaon. And I am glad she got one use out of that snowsuit!