Well Merry Freaking Christmas

This looks like a very heavy and possibly expensive problem.
That would be our swingset, pulled out of the ground and pitched 10 feet across the lawn.

We think this climber is going to be salvagable, after we looked at it closer.

The playhouse, not so much.

We came home from my parents to this mess in our yard. Our sweet neighbors had piled up the plastic for us, and told us it was strewn down the block. Our swingset wasn't just tipped over, but actually picked up and pitched. We won't know the full extent of the damage until my brother comes over tomorrow to help us pick it up. The thing weighs several hundred pounds. I am praying that it is structually ok, but the slide and rock wall are ruined for sure. It could have been far, far worse. That swingset could have been tossed into our house. Or we could have been home, and been outside. So I am trying to be thankful for what we do have. I can still be a little ticked off though. Good thing we brought home Aunt Emily. She's got to babysit while I pick up the rest of the playhouse off the golf course.

Christmas Pictures

Matt said it perfectly: "I feel like we should be praying that the offering is good enough."

Spoiled children.
Excuse me Ellie, I need to see that.What the... Good Lord! Santa brought me a MOOSE!

Sorry Mr. Moose, I need to check out this lion now.

A Barbie and a "bucket of sparkles"

body glitter-what was Santa thinking?

Ellie got her Tag Reader she's been itching to have!

Ellie's new computer Santa brought just for her games.

It was free, quit freaking out, I hear you all.

Playing on her new train table-finally somewhere for her trains to drive

My mommy gave me some of this puff pastery she made for breakfast.

All sugar and spice and lovely!

Ellie's new costume from her Aunt Heather

She's a Radio City Rockette, people. Not a streetwalker.

But don't look when she bends over, the shorts don't cover much!

Santa Came to Town!!

Well, Santa got our email. He knew that mommy has to take care of the sick babies tomorrow, so he came last night! We woke up on Christmas eve to a mountain of presents and toys. Guess two little girls were pretty good this year! I have some pics to post when Matt gets back with the camera.
Kailey is sick, so she is spending her first Christmas Eve home with mommy while Daddy and Ellie went to his parents. She has been very snotty and not wanting to eat very well. We are hoping to avoid the urgent care at this point, so she is getting suctioned very frequently. And she's been getting bottles today, since that seems to be easier for her than nursing. Hopefully she is at the worst and will be getting better soon. We are supposed to go to my parents for christmas this weekend, but we will have to see how she is doing. Hopefully Ellie doesn't turn up with it next. This is the first Christmas of my life I haven't been able to go to church. But I don't want my baby around other people right now.
This child has been ill entirely too much. We hardly ever get her out, but from now on we are going to try to avoid going out with her at all. So she probably won't see much of anyone between now and spring. My poor baby is just sick constantly, and I don't want her exposed to more illness. She isn't getting it from me, Matt or Ellie. We are extremely diligent about keeping her healthy. So we are going into semi-hibernation for the winter.
Well, Kailey and I are off to snuggle in the chair and watch a movie with some popcorn. Hope you all have a Merry Christmas, and pics to follow soon!!

Have You Ever Wondered...

I have some questions in my life that have been unanswered recently. For example...

• Why did my laundry increase so much with the addition of one child? I swear, we can't go one day without doing several loads lest we be buried by it.
• How on earth does one family consume an entire Costco bag of chicken nuggets in a month? That is way too many chicken nuggets for a certain small child.
• How exactly do children grow overnight? I just bought Ellie pants, and they are too short already.
• Why, when it is freaking cold out, do doggies feel the need to potty 18 times a day, when normally they would not feel this need?
• Where are all my scrunchies? Found them-tied around Ellie's bed posts.
• Exactly how do I get the melted crayon out of my cupholder in my car? Its very stubborn.
• When did I get so very boring? This very thought crossed my mind as I wrapped a mountain of toys in tinkerbell paper last night. Good grief, many of my own aged folks still hang out in westport. I've never even been to westport.
• Should I be worried that my daughter says "Target is my favorite store ever!"?
• Why, why, why, do people feel the need to touch my children with their nasty, grimy hands? Come on people, get a grip. Strangers, no touchy, non-strangers, learn to use soap and water.
• How do you teach children to be kind and giving when the world around them is hard and selfish? I'm really having trouble with this since daddy isn't the whole goodwill and service type. I truly believe its not what you give them, but how you raise them. And my mother raised me to give to others. I remember my family adopting a family for christmas one year. I'm sure we couldn't afford that, but we did it anyways. I want my girls to see that side of life to appreciate what they do have.
• Will my family ever go to church with me? Or am I destined to fight them forever?
• Why didn't I get my date on December first, hmmmmm?
• Why does the world feel the need to ask us when we will start trying for a boy? Seriously, do you really want to know that information. Don't you all know what trying means? Is it any of their business? Really, should be discussing this with the target lady? Well, as a matter of fact, I was thinking next thursday sounded good. Maybe I'll try it just once and see...
• And finally, will I ever be able to convince my daughter that the Angel of the Lord is not a christmas fairy who brings presents to Jesus in his hotel, and she does not take the Holy Family to Disney World????
  

Big Sisters are SO Funny!!

You just can't help but laugh yourself! Pause the music player at the bottom!

When Did We Become Adults?

Perhaps this seems like a strange, rather profound question to be tossing out there on a Monday night. However, I assure you, there is a reason for it.
I was cleaning out my office tonight. The closet has needed the attention for quite awhile. And I ran across an old shoebox full of random stuff, carted around in all the moves. Inside this shoebox was pictures, letters, and other random stuff from my past. Pictures dating all the way back to grade school years, but most of high school and college. Letters that my friends had wrote me along the way. Cards that people had sent me. I, in my ever present quest to declutter, began to go through them, one by one. Reading each and every one of them. Took me forever.
I had several from an old high school friend. About our troubles as high school students. How this boy would never notice her. How it made me crazy to hear about it constantly, mainly because he was a friend of mine. (can't go it more, the innocent may read :) How hard and painful our lives were. The pictures of the proms, and birthdays, and all the cards from each other. How the whole world didn't understand our dilemma. How could we ever survive?
Well, I know it was very real at the time. And very painful. But I've discovered something. Pain is relative. Sorrow is subjective. And heartache is situational. But so, too, is love.
Sometimes I wish for problems to be as simple as they were. How did I blink and time flew by so fast? When did I go from getting ready for dances to getting ready for dance? When did staying up half the night involve children? And when did it become so important to get the latest Mickey Mouse Clubhouse movie, instead of the latest clothes?

Dear self from 10 years ago,
This current situation you are in may be hard, and you may be hurting. But get ready. You haven't experienced anything yet. True heartache is coming. True love is coming. While this situation, this moment, seems heartbreaking, the truth is that things in your life will break your heart more than this ever could. You will love more than you ever thought possible. And you will discover something far more important. You will discover that what causes you the greatest joy will also break your heart more times than you can count. You will know what it is like to love so much that you would give your life for them.
In a few short years, you will look back on this moment, and realize that the best things in life are not behind you, but ahead of you. The people that matter the most are some of the people you don't yet know. And the most beautiful things on earth, the best part of your heart, isn't even born yet.
But in 10 years, read these letters, smile, and find those friends back. See what they are up to. How life is treating them. Because chances are, none of you will even care about these days anymore. You will all be moving ahead, moving forward, and loving life even more.
Love your older, wiser self

PS: And when you look back on those pictures, remember, that skinny chick had never had babies, and did not live on bunny macaroni. So yeah, she did look like that, once.

The Christmas Swing

On the quest for the perfect holiday photo...

We are getting in the full holiday swing at our house this week. Ellie and I started today, making our first batch of holiday candy. She was so totally proud of herself and her creations. So, we are continuing to decorate, listening to Christmas music, and learning about the true meaning of the holidays.

However, I still think that I have some explaining to do...

...because, contrary to popular belief, there is no fairy in the nativity.

I've Been Tagged!!

How very exciting! My very first bloggy award! Thanks Jodi!

So, when you get a bloggy award, you must pass it on. That's part of the fun! My friend Jodi granted me my first award, and I am so excited to keep it going!

The Rules:

1. Mention the blog that gave it to you and comment on their blog to let them know you’ve posted your award.

2. Publish these rules.

3. Share 6 values that are important to you and 6 things you do not support.

4. Grant the prize to 6 people.

5. Mention the blog that gave it to you and comment on their blog to let them know you’ve posted your award.

Six Values That Are Important to Me:

1. Friendship

2. Generosity

3. Honesty

4. Empathy

5. Giving

6. Loving

Six Values That I Do Not Support:

1. Cheating

2. Lying

3. Selfishness
4. Demoralizing

5. Laziness

6. Mean Spiritness

And the six bloggers I am passing this on to are:

1. Andrea at A Family of Foxes - my new CVS hero and inspiration

2. Jennifer at My House of Six - my role model for nursing and mommyhood

3. Ann at My Family - cause she got a dog named after her by my daughter

4. Sara at The Kindler Family - for being a super sweet mommy and person

5. Pam at Brothers Forever- cause family is always first

6. Kylie at MkHolt Family - because I miss her and hope that she will come back soon :)

What I am Thankful For..And What I Am Not

The best things in life aren't things....

Well, here is my list for this year...A few things I am thankful for...

• my beautiful, wonderful girls-the best presents I ever got
• their wonderful daddy-who could ask for more?
• my two favorite doggys in the world
• my job-in this world we live in, I am very much thankful for that
• the roof over my head, next to all the new nice neighbors
• my family-even if they can sometimes require constant attention (ahem-Emily)
• my husband's family-even if I don't always show it
• my country, and the fact that I can raise my children in the greatest nation in the world

And a few that I am not...

• Teething-it sucks for all involved
• Black Friday-whoever is taunting me with great bargains and massive crowds all rolled into an unholy hour of the night should be horsewhipped
• Sequin projects for small children-they make an incredible mess that doesn't vacuum well
• Molasses- my work friends will totally understand why

Now...onto Christmas, my favorite season of all!

Welcome Annie!!

No, I'm not Annie, but would like to check out this parrott.
Ellie and her puppy walking in the yard

Kisses

More playing in the yard

Snuggling with her new "baby"

So I have had a super-duper busy week this week. Seriously slacking on the old posting duties. And there will be pictures when I get home from work tonight, but had a minute so I thought I'd get caught up.

First of all, Annie is not a baby, in case you at all were concerned.

Annie is Ellie's christmas present. She is a bitty golden retriever puppy. No, I am not insane, but I can't stand homelessness, and of course, baby Annie needed a home.

Annie was born the end of September with her litter. She was to be sold by her breeders. Well, lo and behold, they couldn't sell the pups. Nobody can afford to take care of a puppy in this economy. They couldn't care for the pups. They were bound for the pound or worse.

A friend of Matt's at work, it was someone his wife knew that had these pups. She found out, then Seth found out, and couldn't allow that to happen. So they went about finding homes for these puppies. And one of those homes happened to be ours. The funny thing is, Ellie had actually put a real dog on her Santa list just this past week. And then this fell into our lap. So we told her, she was getting her present from mommy and daddy a bit early this year.

She named Annie all by herself. She couldn't wait to get her home and start training her. She is absolutly beautiful and of course, Ellie loves having her own puppy to lead around. Kailey keeps watching her and getting so excited. Chloe is kind of ignoring her, but hopefully that will get better with time.

So for now, I will get going and post some pics later tonight. I am a sucker, I know.

But tell me, could you resist?

Another Week Goes By

And I really don't have much to say about it. I have a video I will post when I can get some time. Kailey is loving bouncing in her jumperoo. They didn't have those with Ellie. Matter of fact, they didn't have a lot of things when Ellie was born. No bumbo. No jumperoo. No pink tea party exersaucer. Of course, all those things are now taking over my living room. Along with a dollhouse, some random babies and a homemade paper Hannah Montana microphone. You know, before we had kids, Matt and I would talk about how children didn't need all that stuff. Babies don't need all that equipment, kids don't need so many clothes, toys, vacations to Disney World, etc. Well, fine. I'm eating my words. Cause I'm tripping over toys, the closet is stuffed with my bargain shopping, and of course, we've visited the Mouse twice since Ellie was 2 and plan to return as soon as possible. Good thing we know how to do all of it cheaply :)

We finally threw the baby out of our room. Its about time, she is five months old now. It was just hard. She slept in the swing so long because of her reflux. So we began to transition her back to her cradle. Then she got sick, and has been sick for almost a month. She's finally getting better, but since she can roll both ways, she really had to come out of the cradle. So she's moved into her own room now. Although we still sleep in the rocking chair for a few hours each night. If she gets up to feed, she just can't seem to handle being flat on her back. Oh well, she probably won't go to college still sleeping on me in the rocking chair, so I can handle it a bit longer.

Ellie is way excited for Christmas. She's already put up her little tree, and is begging to put up the big one. I told her she had to wait, but I may cave by next weekend. She has her singing snowman out, and we got Kailey one of her own at Hallmark. Those are just the best christmas decoration I ever bought. She loves them and stays out of my pretty ones. I thought about busting out the Little People Nativity, but I may wait a few more days for that till she's really begging to get the decorations out. She wants to go shopping for Kailey's presents. She just about can't contain herself. Could be a long couple weeks.

I've been thinking about December 1st. We will have been married 6 1/2 years. I didn't get to write a post on our anniversary this year, since I was 9 months pregnant, just got out of the hospital, and had to throw a shower for my SIL. We really didn't even get much of a date. So major hint to daddy-find a babysitter and take me out somewhere. Somewhere that doesn't use crayons. I really deserve it. Really. (and if I don't spell it out, just like that, its not gonna happen)

Life's journey is not to arrive in heaven safely in a well preserved body. But rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, with a drink in one hand, shouting "Whoo, what a ride!!"

I think we're doing well so far. At least on the worn out part :)

You Are All Invited!

You are all invited to my house tomorrow to discover the best meal solution I've ever found. You all know that I love to cook. However, with two children, I've found that the time for cooking is simply not there. That is why I am so excited about this product, Homemade Gourmet. It make cooking easy without additives, without lots of preservatives, and with my own food. They cater to so many different lifestyles, from vegetarian, to diabetic, to gluten free. This is all very important to me since I have family members that require all of these types of diets. I love that I decide what my family eats, and Homemade Gourmet makes it very easy to do this.
So come on over, 7:00 pm and see a demo of how to make four meals in four minutes. I absolutly love this product, so much so that I am becoming a consultant for the company!

For more info, visit http://www.homemadegourmet.com/, or email me!!
jrmady@hotmail.com

Wordless Wednesday

My girls in their cute shirts
Ellie and her spooky pumpkins

The pretty witch and her adorable kitty

Smile Ellie with her soccer coach, getting her medal

Baking some Halloween treats!

Happy Halloween!

Well, the witch and the kitty gave it up early tonight. I don't think either one is feeling their best. I'll have to get some pictures up later or tomorrow. Ellie had a good time going trick or treating tonight. She waited very anxiously for mommy to get home from work, then her and Kailey and I went out and collected our loot. She didn't eat nearly as much candy as I'd thought she would, but maybe tomorrow she'll be ready to eat more.

What Boring People We Are

Now this isn't something I didn't already know. But when I think about our weekend as a whole, I am boldly reminded that somewhere along the way, we stopped being cool and started being, well, adults.

Saturday: I spent the morning at the Holiday Mart with my MIL and SIL. For those of you unaware of the holiday mart, let me enlighten you. It is a huge gathering of boutique shops from around the country. Tens of thousands of crazed, heel wearing, Coach bag toting women gather at this annual event in order to shop the hundreds of booths. They spend with abandon (my goodness, this place is from California, we must buy 1o!) The air smells of Christmas and the various dips you can sample. They carry around their wine (or beer, whatever your taste determines) and snap up designer clothing, christmas decorations, and custom made playdough and pillowcases. And while the idea is to get everything on your christmas list, mostly you get everything for yourself. I admit, I did almost fall prey to a beautful designer diaper bag ("that you can use as a carry on when your babies have outgrown it" said the skinny cute chick selling these that had obviously never actually given birth.) But if I'd have came home with a $200 diaper bag, my husband would've had some kind of meltdown.

Came home, did a bit of cleaning while Matt mowed. Had a lovely dinner of chicken nuggets and waffle fries. Finally got the girls to bed. Then we had a very romantic evening playing mario cart on the Wii. That is what we are reduced to these days. Eating pumpkin shaped cupcakes, frosted by a four year old, with fingerprints still in the icing, racing each other on a video game. Date night? Is that, like, a real thing that happens?

Sunday: Had every intention of going to church. Husband and children heavily against church. Did not go to church. Had to pray, again, for forgiveness for not going. Went to eat at inlaws. Discussed with my MIL and BIL about meditation, and how to center yourself. Decided that as soon as I had myself centered, a small child would urgently need some sort of snack or to tell me something immediately. Realized that my center was around my target list and if the leotard was clean for dance this week. Had lovely lunch, then left girls while we ran errands. Went to CVS, made out like a bandit, gave my thrice weekly donation to Target, went to Home Depot. Drooled over turquoise washer and dryer. Heard my mother in my head explaining that the reason this country is in its current financial situation is because people are in love with appliances. Realize I am in love with appliance, and horrified that this is the case. Must learn to love something besides appliances.

Went to the Babies R Us. Still didn't find a baby hat. Apparently, all the good mommies got their babies a hat already. So us slacker mommies are left with too big hats, searching all over town to find something appropriate for the babies with cold heads. So, Sunday, our 2 hours away from our children, were spent shopping for our children. Picked up girls, went to the Great Mall. Which is totally white trash heaven. Icky place with great bargains. Tried to dodge all the people who feel the need to TOUCH my baby while making a beeline to Carters. FINALLY found a hat. Thank God, I will not be seen as the mommy who can't put a hat on her baby's head.

Paid and had to stop at "the ducky store" (bath and body works outlet) in order to look for some american girl lotion. Found lotion. Found aromatherapy bubble bath for mommy. Mommy has no time for aromatherapy bath, but it'll look good in the basket by the tub. Will put it in the center of the basket. Maybe that'll count. Came home, ate leftovers, did laundry, baths and bed. More laundry for mommy, probably not nice bath.

10 years ago, I'd have been out with my friends this weekend. Maybe at homecoming. Maybe shopping for homecoming. And now I have a love affair with a wash machine and spend my days shopping for toilet paper and baby hats. How boring I've become in just 10 years.

Tired Some More

Hmm, what is this?
Oh, I like food!

I worked all weekend last weekend. Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Had monday off, then worked Tuesday. Kailey got up about 5 times each night. So, I am totally exhausted this week. Like, your bones hurt tired. Ellie has had a bit of a cold, so she's been tired and cranky too. We are quite the bunch.
But I think we figured out that Kailey isn't getting enough to eat in the evenings, which is why she keeps waking up. I'm working on getting my milk supply up this week, but we've had to supplement her when I'm at work. I just can't keep up with her! We started her on cereal this week too. Actually, we tried giving her rice cereal last week. She hated it. Cried and cried when we tried to feed it to her. So, we waited until this week, and I bought some oatmeal cereal. And she scarfed it down. We gave her a bottle after I fed her last night, wrapped her in 2 blankets (cause our house is like the freezer at night) and she slept all night. With the exception of 2 paci retrievals by mommy :)
Not much else to say today. It's a pretty nice, boring day :)

Some Babies Are "Fluffy", and More Wedding Pics

Aunt Heather, Great Aunt Deb, Bella and Ellie
Blowing some bubbles
Do you want a flower?
Me, my sister (obviously she got the cute genes) and the baby
Do you think anybody's watching us sneak some cake? (Aunt Holly, the bride)

Well, we survived the wedding. Now the bride and groom are off on their honeymoon and we are doggie-sitting. Note to aunt holly and uncle reggie-if I go down to the basement and catch the dog lounging on my couch again, she just might return to you stuffed.....

But at least she didn't pee on it :)

Ellie had fun seeing her minnesota family. She doesn't get to see them too often. We are very tired after the weekend, and are really just trying to get caught back up with things.

Kailey went for her four month checkup today. Now, you all know my baby is fluffy. I see all our dear friends, and their struggles with growing. Precious Olivia, who defied odds, born at 23 weeks and is now finally growing and gaining weight. Little Skyler, destined for the same food allergies that keeps his brother so tiny, still struggling to fatten up. My man Parker, at one year, is 19 pounds, from a 4 pound little peanut. And then there is my baby. Who, at this rate, will outgrow her carseat at christmas.

She is 15 pounds and 25 inches long. So not quite as fluffy as I'd thought she would be. But relatively so. She is growing just fine, and is a happy, healthy baby. I don't worry. Ellie packed on the pounds in her first 6 months as well. She was about 22 lbs at a year, and is 35 at 4 1/2. So I doubt Kailey will keep up her current growth streak. Although she does appear to be on an eating binge this week.

One last note-today is National Pregnancy/Infant Loss Rememberence day. Please visit Olivia's blog, and remember her sweet brother Logan, and all the babies who have left us too soon. And give your own babies an extra kiss tonight. I know I sure did.

Wedding Pictures

My pretty flower girl
Ellie and Kayla getting ready for the wedding
Daddy and Aunt Heather
Our family-hope that picture turns out
Ellie caught the bouquet!

More pictures as I get them edited

Busy Week

No new pictures, but I'm sure I'll have some soon. We've had a busy week so far, and it's not getting much better. The girls and I have been running around a bunch this week. I started back to work on Friday. Not as bad as I'd thought, but still want to be a SAHM.
Daddy and Kailey have been trying to work out some sort of routine on their home days. She is learning that Mommy isn't around 24/7, and that she'll survive just fine with her Daddy. She is laughing and giggling quite a bit more. Daddy says she is getting fun now. Now we are trying to get ready for the weekend and the sister in law's wedding. I will be extremely glad when this is over. And since I really have nothing else nice to say about this, I probably better say good night.

A Secret Obsession

Miss butterfly
Well, if I was a giraffe, this is what I'd look like. But now mommy has to find a kitty.
I love my tea party!
Ellie playing soccer
Kailey observing soccer

Ok, I have a confession to make. I am a bit ashamed to say it.

A few days ago in Target, they have an aisle with Christmas cards and stockings and lights. Little pink princess trees and teeny ornaments.

And I was so happy!!! I know it is way too early. And I moan and groan with everyone else when I see it in the stores. But secretly, I love it!

I love Christmas. I love everything about it. The season, the music, the lights, the treats. I have been working on my super cool christmas card for months. (which, by the way, I am slightly irritated that my SIL used my idea for her wedding invite, but in all fairness, she may not have known I've been working on this since before she got engaged, and they don't read this anyways) The girls and I have been scoping out the ornaments at hallmark, and can't wait for the premier in October. I know Halloween and Thanksgiving need their day. I think so too, and I love those holidays as well. We are all decked out for Halloween around here. But I tell you, the tree would be up Nov. 1 if it were up to me. But, as to not appear abnormal, I'll wait for Thanksgiving weekend. I have most of the girls presents already bought. I love having kids to buy for. That is just the most fun ever. Pretty much everyone else it more difficult. I just am not into the whole present thing, I guess. I mean, I've made some nice homemade gifts for people in the past, who seem to not like them. They'd rather have something store bought. Which of course makes me kinda crabby cause I spent a lot of time and thought on something. Now I'm just ranting. That happens sometimes. My mommy is going to tell me to be nice. But the invoved parties won't read this anyways :)
Anyways, don't hate me, OK? I secretly love all those pretty ornaments and tacky character stocking. All the bright lights and ridiculous flashing christmas trees. The red and green next to the orange and black. I love it all. But, if you ask me in public, I'll deny it all too.

A Hard Thing to Write

My first sweet girl, Ellie.
My second precious girl, Kailey.

I've been having a lot of conflicting feelings lately. My biggest has to be my feelings about my girls. Most specifically, Kailey. Now, I love my beautiful girls with everything in me. They are my life and soul. But I've been struggling to understand what it is that I don't understand about Kailey. It's very hard to describe, but something about her, I just couldn't understand. She is so much different than Ellie. Not bad or good, just different. She is her own little person, with her own mind, her own attitude, and her own sweet, delicious babyness. But something just kept making me sad, and I just didn't understand why. And I felt so incredibly guilty. How can I be sad? I've always wanted 2 girls. I have exactly what I want. Right?

Then, my dear sweet friend Jennifer wrote her post. Now you must know she is this wonderful person with four gorgeous children, she always looks so pretty and put together. Yet she is real, genuine and sweet. She writes just how she talks and lives her life the same way. She is one of those people you just want to be. But, I digress. She wrote this wonderful post about her daughter Molly. And when I read that, I suddenly understood. Kailey is not Ellie. She is my beautiful little precious Kailey. And I cherish her babyhood so very much. But I miss my baby Ellie. I miss her sweet smell, her beautiful smile. I miss that feeling I felt the very first time I became a mommy, and held my baby. (girl, you think you were young, I was all of 22, and got ratted out to the social worker for not going to bath class!) I miss her blue eyes, her fat little legs and her soft, chubby baby feet. She has grow from this adorable baby into this sweet big sister. When Kailey was born, I got a new baby to love. Another pair of fat legs, soft feet, and beautiful eyes. Her own beautiful grins and giggles. But a part of me wanted my first baby back. The baby that is forever gone. And how I am watching my new baby grow so fast right before my eyes and I desperately want to hold on to this moment for as long as possible. I need to savor these moments, because they go so very quickly.

So, I feel much less guilty today. Much less like there is something wrong me. That I can love my sweet Kailey, and still cherish the babyhood of my precious Ellie. Thank you to my friend, who bared her soul so I could know that I am not crazy.

Getting Stuff Done

These are my toes...

Well, I'm tired. Really tired. I've been on such a mission to get my house organized. For some reason, that has become the symbol of a good mom right now. Organized house, clean kitchen, means that when mommy goes back to to work, the children will be fed and the house won't look like a tornado hit it. We'll see I guess. Ellie and I started getting out the halloween decorations today. We found the giraffe costume we bought last year for Kailey. But, Ellie also found her witch costume from when she was a year old, and now wants to be a witch. I can't believe, but it still fits, so I guess we can do that. But then I need a black kitty, not a giraffe :)

I don't know why I'm so obsessed with everything lately. For example, we already drink hormone free milk and eat hormone free chicken (hormones bad for girls.) And of course, sodium lauryl sulfate in shampoo and soaps. BPA in plastic. All those have no place in my home. But then I've decided that we eat far too many additives in foods. So I began doing some research, and I just can't keep buying such foods. Have you ever looked at the labels? High fructose corn syrup is in EVERYTHING! I think my daughter is sweet enough and hyper enough, don't you? No need for all that sugar. So we are eating foods with as few preservatives and additives as possible. Really, I don't know if all these things cause cancer, or early puberty, or neurological disorders, etc. The reasearch isn't conclusive either way. But personally, I like to err on the side of caution. I'd rather not find out in 10 years that I was wrong.

So since my girl is eating her hormone free, additive free chicken nugguts and bunny crackers, drinking her hf milk out of her BPA free super cool big girl cups, smelling like her delicious smelling soap and shampoo that costs a fortune, I gotta save some money! My bloggy friend Andrea has got me started on CVSing, and I finally went on my first run yesterday. Gonna try again this week. I made myself a huge coupon binder (like a big dork) and sorted everything out so I can start saving serious money. I mean, really, this healthy, organic lifestyle is really putting a crimp in my fun money. Ellie and I haven't been to Panera in like, a month! :)

Some Random Pictures

I love it when I get to feed my baby a bottle!
And when you push this button here, it calls Grandma.
Ellie and her babies in their "sling"
My big sister is awfully funny!
Dear Santa or Daddy: Hint, Hint!