I am not a terribly patient person.
I have never had much patience for drama, or theatrics. Or people who believe their problems are so awful, when in fact, they have no idea what a real problem is. It stresses me out, trying to be the kind person that comes out of me every now and then, instead of telling them to get a grip, their life isn't that bad. Oh, how many times I have wanted to haul somebody in to see a truly sick baby and say "Look, that baby is sick. Your problem, yeah, not that bad. You don't know problem until you've walked in those itty bitty shoes, or the shoes of their family."
I am trying to remember that now. That it isn't that bad.
It isn't so terrible that we are living apart. I still have a husband who loves me.
It isn't so awful that we are waiting, waiting for our house to sell. At least we have a house to sell, and are not underwater, like so many I know.
It isn't so bad that I don't sleep, so people can look at my house. At least they are looking. 12 showings in 6 days is a good thing.
It won't be so bad, moving away from everything I love. Maybe I will find new friends, and another place I like too.
I shouldn't complain that we racked up more in lawyer fees in nine months then four years of college cost. I should be so very thankful that we still have a home to sell. And I should be grateful that it is over, at least.
In fact, I should be very happy all around. Things should start going our way very soon. We have three beautiful children. We are working so hard on our new house, and will make it something we love. We will be together. It isn't that bad. It will be good. Eventually.
The part of me that is crabby and bitter can think of so many negatives. How unfair it was to be dragged into the middle of someone else's drama, costing us a fortune. How hard it is to be the parent that has to be everything for these children, and the working girl instead of a wife every weekend. How I worry every single day about my children, two in particular that have different issues, but both could drastically alter their lives, or cause them irreparable harm. How I wish I knew what to do about them, so my children are safe.
But, the part of me that is rational continues to say "come on now, girl, get on up." Life isn't fair. The world isn't fair. Patience is a virtue I must continue to work on. So i do. And I will. And I will wait, for it all to work out. And I will attempt to smile and be happy and move on.
Disclaimer: This blog was always meant for me. For me to say what I want, and show what I want. For me to be the person I am. I love my friends that read it. And I caution those that may not want to hear the truth to just never click back on this link. I am real. I am genuine. This is my perspective on my life. And I don't mince words.
