And Then There Were Three...

Rapunzel, Rapunzel

2011-12-12T23:38:00.000-06:00

My girl, in her brand new hat. It was supposed to be a Christmas present, but I simply could not wait. And she loves it. If you have ever seen the movie, "Tangled" you know that Rapunzel is an ornery little princess.

Kailey channels her well :)

She perches on her climber, and waits for somebody to tell her to let down her hair. She wore it to the mall. She wore it out to take Ellie to religion. And she isn't taking it off anytime soon.

The Window

2011-10-10T22:45:00.000-05:00

He is just so cute :)

The proverbial saying says something about whenever God closes a door, he always opens a window.

Do you all ever sit around and wonder just when exactly is that is gonna happen? Or perhaps, your window like mine, is cracked. But you just can't seem to get it shoved all the way open. Maybe it is stuck. Maybe something is blocking it. Maybe somebody painted over it.

I sit here tonight, supposed to be writing something profound to add to my already very long thesis paper. And lately, all I can see is the endless road ahead of us. The hole that we didn't dig, but somehow have to climb out of. The roadblock after roadblock that has been thrown our way. The daily grind of our new life that somehow doesn't seem like any kind of life. I find myself trying to survive each day, only to regret the fact that I am wishing my kids' childhood away. I lay awake each night hoping I don't drop all these balls I have gotten thrown. And I can't see the end. It isn't there. Which makes it all that much harder.

Some days I wish I could just let it all go. Quit my job and school and focus on my kids. Sell this house and get out from the separation of my family, and from the ever-present entity that attempted to destroy us. Every time I step outside I am reminded of it. And while I am doing my best to not be bitter and angry and defeated, I cannot just let go of the fact that much of what happened this past year was done to us, through no fault of our own. Yet we are left to pick up the pieces, hanging by the thinnest thread, and trapping us in unavoidable and frustrating circumstances.

Steve Jobs said something in his famous speech at Stanford about the dots connecting. You cannot look forward and see how all this will affect your life. You can only look back and see that, because of it, you are where you are today. I know our dots are all leading us somewhere. That is what keeps me going. Knowing that there is so much ahead of us that will be better. Someday I won't have to work every weekend. Someday I will get to spend more than a couple hours a week with my husband. Someday, my kids will know that we did everything we could to keep things stable for them during this time. And that we tried so very hard to make their futures good, too.

I am thankful. I am thankful for the friends who let me whine and cry and complain. I am thankful for the mother in law that watches my kids every single week, and gets up in the middle of the night so I can take the sick one to the urgent care. I am very thankful for my husband's boss, who lets him work out a schedule to help me work, helping us climb out of that hole. And I am thankful that what we have gone through is so much less than what others have had to endure. Our path isn't pretty, but I know that many would choose ours in a heartbeat over what they have had to walk.

So, about that window. I know that I can't see what will open it just yet. But I have faith that it will. However, if any of you all has a crowbar, let me know :)

So, Do You Ever Update Your Blog Anymore?

2011-09-25T21:35:00.000-05:00

I seem to hear that a lot lately.

Well, the short answer is no. I am very busy.

And the long answer? Single parenthood is kicking my tail.

Working, going to school, and keeping up with Ellie's school has pretty much encompasses all my time these last several weeks. I decided not to send Kailey to preschool this year, so I am homeschooling her, or whatever it is you call doing some preschool stuff at home. Add that to the fact that I am doing most of it by myself, and well, sometimes the ball gets dropped. The good news is that I am only currently in one class for my masters. And that I only have 4 left to be done. That number is such a beautiful number!
The kids and I are attempting to adjust to this new lifestyle as best we can. We can't sell our house right not. Too many factors play into that to name off, but for the time being, we are here, and the daddy is there. I hope this won't be the case forever. Time will tell. It would help if our economy would get up off it's sorry behind and get a move on.
So, for right now, I am a single parent during the week, going to school. And on the weekend nights, I work. So they will keep paying for my school. It has been a rough road. The kids seem to be doing better recently. There are less tears, more sleeping. Less anxiety and more smiles. And, they have discovered beef. Which they love!
For now, I am focusing on what I must do each day to survive these next several months. Our lives will be so much different this time next year. I tell my kids that this isn't forever. Sometimes I tell myself that too.

And sometimes, I eat ice cream with peanut butter when everybody else is in bed, and watch trashy movies while I am doing homework. Because I can :)

A Story About Change

2011-06-21T19:10:00.000-05:00

Once upon a time, there was a family.

The family was happy. Life was good.

But, like every family, the rain falls occasionally. Sometimes, when it rains, the flowers grow brighter and bigger. Sometimes, the river floods the town.

The family had been through a few floods. Some of which, everybody could see. Some of which, they chose not to tell. All of which, led them to where they are now. And even after the hardest of rains, you sometimes get the most beautiful rainbow.

The family got a rainbow. A bright, shining rainbow that came out of the clear blue sky. One they wouldn't have expected to come, didn't expect. But, a much needed and welcome rainbow.

The rainbow is a new job. In another town. A job that they sought him out, and asked him to interview. In what turned out to be the perfect one for him. And will be for us all.

Now the family is faced with a few new challenges. First of all, there is a "situation" that must be resolved. The family cannot move until it is. Then, there is a house to sell. They hope. Then, the mommy must decide how to proceed with her school. And her work. Both of which she is bound to by the other. And there is the task of hopefully finding somewhere to live when it is time.

The daddy has started the job, awhile ago. He is gone. The mommy must raise the children, go to work and school, and somehow prepare to sell the house. If they are able to. It is a daunting task, complicated by softball and ill children.

In every good rainbow story, the end is full of a pot of gold. We are hoping that the proverbial pot of gold means more stability for our little family. We know this is the right choice. We just have to get to the end of that rainbow.

One

2011-06-09T09:33:00.000-05:00

How quickly a year goes by. The baby I delivered one year ago today is now such a handsome little fellow. A little guy who loves to give kisses and feed his puppies. Who tries so hard to keep up with his big sisters. Who will dive headfirst into a bathtub if we are not fast enough. Who takes everything out of my drawers, just to see how far he can throw them. Who will take many steps, but just not quite brave enough to walk. Who smiles and laughs and babbles and is all around a happy guy.

Happy Birthday, my sweet baby boy. I have loved every minute of you this last year, and while I am a little sad you are growing up, I can't wait to see what you have in store for us.

My Kind of Fairy Tale

2011-05-31T10:00:00.000-05:00

Because we all need a bit of humor in our lives...

Once upon a time, in a land far away, a beautiful, independent,

self-assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat, contemplating

ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant

meadow near her castle.

A frog hopped into the princess' lap and said: Elegant Lady, I was

once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me.

One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper,

young Prince that I am and then, my sweet, we can marry and set up

housekeeping in your castle with my mother, where you can satisfy my

needs, prepare and serve my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children,

and forever feel grateful and happy doing so.

That night, as the princess dined sumptuously on lightly sautéed frog

legs seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled and

thought to herself:

“I don’t freaking think so!”

Survival Tips

2011-04-27T14:25:00.000-05:00

Survival of the fittest. That phrase has taken on a new meaning for me these last several month. Events beyond our control have led us down this path that we are currently walking. It has been very hard on us all, and we hope that this awful journey ends very soon. I hate what it does to a family. My poor kids can sense all this stress, and you can clearly see how much it affects them as well. The term "pain and suffering" take on an entirely new meaning.

In the meantime, I have learned a few thing about frugality. While I have taught myself a lot over the past few years, these last months have shown me how much I still have to learn. For example:

You really can use nearly everything in your fridge before it goes bad. You have to be creative. However, your children may not eat it, so continue to invest in peanut butter.
When getting ready for a garage sale, one comes face to face with one's clothing habits. Specifically how one's children got clothed. And that they probably didn't need quite so many choices.
Cheap backpacks break. Quickly. After you have bought 3 cheap backpacks, you should just invest in the good one the 4th time.
Bread is super duper cheap to make. And super easy and yummy. However, bread could make you fat. Probably not your husband or children, but you should watch out.
Pasta, however, is super cheap to buy, and a pain in the rear to make.
When your daughter wants a cake made by you for her birthday, you might be touched, and think "that will be so much cheaper!". However, after you have made the three-tier confection filled with 3 fillings and 2 kinds of cakes, and frosted with about 5 pounds of powdered sugar and 15 sticks of butter, you realize that Costco makes an incredibly cheap cake.
Sometimes, you get very frustrated at the lack of Christmas presents, or the meager Easter baskets. You stomp around and complain to your husband about how unfair it all is, that this stupid situation is hurting your children more than anyone else. Your husband remains calm and assures you that they will love the presents and baskets. They do, of course. But you don't admit that to him.
Sometimes, you scrimp and save for so long, you take a bit of that and take a vacation. Like to the beach. And you scrimp while you are there. And you don't eat breakfast or lunch so that your kids can eat the little food that will fit in the fridge at the hotel. So you can afford the afternoon ice cream sundaes for them. And seeing the stress melt off their little faces makes it all worth it.
That somehow, you can afford the second mortgage amount you are paying out in one certain bill each month. Because you have been working so very hard to keep afloat. Because you have no other choice. There is no way out.
That, in the end, it is only money. Your kids are healthy. Your husband is healthy. You are healthy.
And that you do have true friends. People who let you complain and whine and cry about the whole rotten situation. People who tell you how rotten it is with you. People who are right beside you, no matter what.

When it is all said and done, I try to remember that we have a lot to be thankful for. I try not to dwell on the fact that our hard work and planning for the future has been wiped out and put on hold. I am happy we have been able to float so far. We are surviving.

The Princess and Her Potty

2011-02-21T14:33:00.001-06:00

Kailey has a problem. An attitude problem. She is refusing to be potty trained. Not unready, not confused, too little, or misunderstanding. Refusing. And my child refusing me is not something that goes over well.

"No, Mama, I not gonna potty train today."

"I not gonna sit on dat big girl potty. I just gonna try later"

"I can't go sit on dat big girl potty, cause I busy."

It's much more irritating in person, I assure you.

I have tried it all. Bribing, pleading, begging, ordering, rewarding Ellie for going potty. None of it makes any difference. (Although Ellie's brilliant idea is that she should start pretending she is not potty trained anymore and get rewards for going on the potty to show Kailey what happens. I drew the line there :)

So my friend gave me a book, called "The Princess and the Potty." Very fitting. The princess won't use the potty, the potty makers in all the land make all kinds of pretty potties that do not please the princess. You know how it ends, the princess eventually gets fancy pants and goes on the potty.

We read it over and over. She loves it so much. Loves hearing about the princess and the potty.

So, one day, I am in the bathroom changing the baby and she points to the potty.

"Mama, see dat big girl potty?"

"Yes?"

"Dat big girl potty right over there?"

"Yes Kailey, I see it. What about it?" (getting all excited)

"Dat potty does not pwease me."

I think we have a ways to go :)

Nobody's Favorite

2011-01-17T15:55:00.000-06:00

"Mama, how come I am nobody's favorite?" Ellie said to me today.

"What do you mean?" I asked her.

"I just mean, I used to be everybody's favorite and now I am nobody's. Well, I mean, we aren't anybody's. We are not anybody's favorites anymore."

I just hated hearing her say that. I know why she said it, and I know what she means (because, of course, I know the rest of the story that doesn't belong on the internet.) I can't explain how other people feel or why they act the way they do. I didn't even know how to respond. So I said the only thing I could say.

"You guys will always be my favorites."

Please don't let me ever be the parent who favors one child over the others. Or who treats one child with less love and understanding. Please let me always love all my kids with all my heart. And their kids, too. Please give me the wisdom and understanding to help my children grow happy and confident in themselves. To show them that they are worth more than I could ever relay to them. Give me the words to explain to my children the things in life that are hard, and that sometimes, we can't understand.

And please, please, let my babies know that they will always be OUR favorites.

Kailey's Room

2010-12-29T13:35:00.000-06:00

All my kids have their names on their doors. I made them. I am so crafty :)

Her Big Girl Bed. You can kind of see her window seat and "tea party" light

This is where bitty baby lives.

The light came from Ellie's room in our old house

There is a cute ladybug picture on the wall now where the flower stickers are. She sleeps in her toddler bed, and I have no intention of rocking the boat at this point :)


This is Violet. She sleeps on the bed.

Kailey moved into Ellie's old room. It hasn't changed much. The wall colors are still the same. Some of the pictures are the same. But Kailey doesn't remember, nor does she care. She loves her "big girl" room.

When I Watch Too Much TV...

2010-12-14T14:25:00.000-06:00

So, this week, I was watching my netflix on my roku box. I am in love with my roku box. Most of the time.

Today, not so much...

There was this documentary on there called "The business of being born." I'd read about this particular show before, but never really knew much about it. So I thought I'd put it on while doing some laundry.

I didn't make it past about 15 minutes. I was that hacked off, that I just shut it off.

Disclaimer: What follows is a rant.

This so-called documentary is all about "natural" childbirth. As in unmedicated birth, which is a more proper term. (unless you got your baby from some sort of test tube or egg contraption, all childbirth is natural.) I am not opposed to unmedicated birth. There is nothing at all wrong with it. I am, however, opposed to any sort of film that shows one side of a very complex story, and makes it seem as any other way is wrong. These people talked about how modern medicine had "screwed up" childbirth. They put down those who received any sort of drugs, including induction, as failures and interfering with the "natural order" of things. What an incredibly sad disservice this is for women. Women who may or may not have the options these women have. Modern medicine is a good thing. Lest we forget, it wasn't that long ago that many women died routinely during childbirth. Many women have health issues. Many babies have complications. And many uncomplicated pregnancies end with bad outcomes during delivery.

Modern medicine saved my life. It also saved two of my children's lives during delivery. Had I went the "natural" route, I wouldn't be here to be ranting about this. Had I waited "until the time is right" one of my babies would most certainly not be here. The mother probably wouldn't be, either. She was getting very ill.

Maybe that is why this irritates me so much. I made choices that I had to during my pregnancies and deliveries that would help my children and I come out of this alive. I, along with my doctors and specialists, made decisions that were based on this. I am happy with my choices. Proud, even. But, I utterly hate, hate, hate, hearing anything that attempts to undermine those choices. That says that if I hadn't had to induce my babies, we would have had shorter labors, better outcomes, etc, etc.

I have good outcomes. My children are healthy. I am incredibly thankful for that. I don't tell all the details to very many people of those deliveries. Most people won't go through what I did. What my babies did. And for that I am also thankful.

So producers of this documentary, listen up. You can be happy you had a baby with no medication. However, you may not put down those that had to. Or chose to. You never know what kinds of motivation comes with those choices.

Ellie's Room

2010-12-10T12:37:00.000-06:00

She chose the turquoise all by herself. I admit, I was a bit reluctant, but it turned out so cute!

She LOVES her bunk bed. I am so proud of myself. Those bedspreads were only $15 each!

She has a giant mirror that will go on her wall in that big empty space, but I have to paint it still.

The custom curtain Nana made. Yeah, I know, I am VERY spoiled with my window treatments! I need to climb up and pin it back together.

Where the American girls live. She wants a beanbag to read her books. Maybe some other time...

I will freely admit that Ellie doesn't get much of her design taste from her mother. I would have NEVER, EVER bought that turquoise of my own free will. But it is adorable on her wall, and so "big girl." I found the bedspreads at target and they just made the wall color pop so much. She does have a bathroom in her room that is going to be hot pink and turquoise, you know, when time permits. Maybe some cold day this winter. I am a huge fan of the flower stickers on the wall. That is one of man's greatest inventions. Cheap, and easy to change!

Landon's and Kailey's will follow soon!

Kailey

2010-12-02T14:41:00.000-06:00

Me- "How about you start going potty on the big girl potty."
K- "No I never going to sit on dat big girl potty. I gonna look at dat big girl potty, but I never sit on it."

Me- "It's nap time!'
K- "No, I never take a nap. Ever. I don't love naps"

K- "Mama, I gonna go up and throw Landon out of his crib"
Me- "No, Kailey, you can't, that will hurt Landon."
K- "Well, I just gonna get him up, and I drop him on the floor veeerry softly" No worries, all 23 pounds of her couldn't heave all 17 pounds of him anywhere :)

K- sitting in her bumbo "Dis is my bumbo." puts her feet on Landon's bumbo "And dis is my bumbo, too."

K- "Mama, guess what?"
Me- "What?"
K- "Do you know the muffin man?"

K- "Dat Slobber!!! Mama, wipe that Landon's slobber"

And of course, good old Ellie
"Now mom, make sure you put on makeup before the people come over so it looks like you showered"

The boy is going to be sweet and wonderful. I just know it...

The Storm

2010-11-09T22:07:00.001-06:00

Somehow, we will get through it all...

I meant to post pictures of the kids rooms. I am so proud of what we have done to them.

I wanted to show you my babies in their recent photo session.

And then the storm hit.

Something we never saw coming, something we could not ever have avoided. Something that could blow over, or something that could cost us everything and then some.

Something I would be foolish to ever discuss on the internet. But that many of you already know.

How we will come out of this, I have no idea. How we will survive during it, I also have no idea.

All I know is this: we will get through it together. And we will cry. And we will pray. And we will come out, one way or the other, on the other side of this hot mess as a family.

That's where I've been.

My First Haircut

2010-10-18T20:38:00.003-05:00

Look at my big boy haircut!

Do you see I got my ears and neckline all trimmed up?

Landon got his first haircut today. He wasn't amused. He cried and cried, and not even his favorite person in the world, Ellie, couldn't make him happy. But when it was all over, he looked so handsome. The store people were in love with him, and could not believe his hair. I did feel a bit bad for the mommy with the little girl behind us getting her first haircut. She was probably Kailey's age, but she had way less hair than my boy. And all the people were oohing and aahing over my boy. But not that bad :)

Chocolate Milk Detox

2010-10-15T13:59:00.000-05:00

Kailey is an addict. I am her ~~enabler~~ loving mother that let this happen.

You see, she has a great love of chocolate milk. She drinks it all day long. She asks for it first thing in the morning. She carries it all around the house. That right there has become a huge problem. You see, we started finding chocolate milk cups stashed around the house. Chucked on the floor anywhere. Under beds, in toy boxes, purses, laundry, etc. Hidden from sight. Now you can imagine what that is like when we find it 3 days later...

Anyways, here she is, drinking her milk. And eating nothing. Nothing at all. Because food does not compare to her love of chocolate milk. I saw the warning signs of addiction. Her whole focus of being has revolved around where her chocolate milk is. The way she sucks it down as fast as she can. The way she hides the evidence. And I, the tired new mother, kept giving it to her to keep her from melting down. And when she'd lose one cup, I'd give her a new one. And another. And another.

I know, so unlike me.

Finally I realized how much she is actually drinking. The numbers aren't pretty. At least 54 oz a day. Well, thats just got to stop. No wonder she doesn't eat. No wonder she is all of 23 pounds.

So into detox she went. One cup in the morning, and one with dinner. Thats it.

It isn't pretty. There has been a lot of screaming, crying, throwing oneself onto the floor, begging, pleading, and all out temper. But 3 days into it, I think she has gotten the message, and is starting to accept that sometimes, we only drink water. And we don't die from it. And now we sometimes eat some food. Because when you are not filled with milk all the time, you get pretty hungry every now and then.

Will this kick the habit? Probably not completely. Relapse can happen even with the most determined of recovering addicts. And this one isn't all that determined. Here's to hoping, though.

PS: Took a couple room pics today. Maybe this weekend...

Cleaning and Scrubbing

2010-10-07T13:22:00.002-05:00

"Cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow, "

(although clearly today would be better)

"For babies grow up, we've learned to our sorrow."

(like from this..

to this in seconds, apparently)

"So quiet down cobwebs, dust go to sleep,"

(big sister, get your homework done)

"I'm rocking my baby, and babies don't keep."

(you are so sweet and cute and fluffy)

(sleep well,little guy. you'll be big too soon)

New Attitude and New Princess

2010-10-06T18:49:00.004-05:00

I read the most lovely story today while feeding my son. ( I have been to the end of the internet and back feeding babies.) A wife and husband and their children are having a hard time making ends meet. There is no money, no time, and so much work to do. A woman tells the wife that it is her duty to make a nice home and cheerful attitude so that her husband can better himself and be more motivated to work hard to support the family. So, she puts on her prettiest dress, cleans the house, cooks, and flirts with the banker that is coming discuss foreclosure on their farm. In the end, she realizes that the stranger woman was right, and look how much better things can be for them. It was a lovely story.
It had a nice end.

That is not the way things work at my house.

I believe this story does have a good morale though. Attitude and gratitude will get you the directions you want to go. Sometimes, it helps so much to just take a shower and dry my hair, after I have washed dishes, and washed floors, and washed diapers and babies. I have began to make my bed every day, something that hasn't happened in years. Partially to keep myself from crawling back in, but also, because it feels so nice to have something clean and nice-looking. Yes, I pick up toys every single day. Because, in the morning, I like my home so much better when it is at least picked up. Sometimes, its the little things that make all the difference in the world. Its all how you look at it.

That being said, I went to target in my yoga pants with spit-up on my t-shirt today. Such is life :)

I must leave you with a picture of my new niece, Parker. I didn't know that aunts had a different section in their hearts for their nieces and nephews. A section that could love them endlessly and so completely. That part was opened up for me on Sunday night, when Parker came into the world. She will always be so special, because she has made me an aunt. I am head over heels in love with her, and it is all I can do not to bother her parents 6,000 times a day to let me come love on her.

Ellie and Parker

Doesn't he look huge! They weighed the exact same at birth.

Welcome to the family, sweet girl. You can never know how much joy you have brought me already, and you are just a few days old. I can't wait for you to show me how to be an Aunt. I can't wait to watch you grow up along side my own sweet babies. And I hope you will love me even a fraction of what I already love you.

And I hope your daddy bought a really big shotgun :)

Where Have I Been?

2010-09-29T20:24:00.001-05:00

What a whirlwind few months we have had!

Here's a little about what's been happening here. After our boy made his appearance, life pretty much ground to a screeching halt. Taking three kids out is a daunting task. As in crazy, scary, do I have everything task. Especially when one is a perpetual eating machine, one strives to put herself in the most dangerous situation possible, and one complains about the babies at every chance she can.

I am hoping to post the big reveal pics of our room makeovers this week. Ellie's room is very close to being done, just needs a few finishing touches. Kailey's room is done, save for one lonely picture that needs to be hung. And Landon, well, that is my masterpiece that is almost done and I am SO excited about!

Our basement is finally finished up as well. After a whole year, we have the family room and bedroom done. And hopefully the bathroom will be sometime this winter.

Ellie started first grade this year, and is thriving. I think it was a relief to her to get out of the house and away from the little ones all day. Kailey spends every waking moment plotting what she can do to make my life hard. One minute she is as helpful as can be, and the next, she is destroying my house. And she has that look like the donkey on shrek, you just can hardly get mad at her for it.

Landon is huge. HUGE. MASSIVE. His sisters were never this giant. He has fat on his fat. His clothes are busting at the seams. Thank goodness we bought the carseat with the higher weight limit. Although I can hardly heave his giant body in the car these days.

As for me, I am officially a part time worker. Love it. May never work full time again. May strive to work less and less.

So, I will attempt to be better at this posting biz now that I am used to things. And maybe, just maybe, tomorrow there will be pictures.

Until then, I leave you with this. Because it is ridiculous.

A Bit Of Fun

2010-06-29T15:13:00.007-05:00

Not often you can fit in a bitty baby bed :)

All 3 of my kids have had their photo taken in this bed

The doll bed made my Matt's grandfather

Yeah, Ellie and I are mean, aren't we?

Kailey loves her baby! The feeling does not seem to be mutual...

Get that dolly away from me!
My sweet baby boy :)

A Moment of Peace

2010-06-21T19:55:00.004-05:00

Loving on her baby brother

Isn't he to-die-for cute!

And she is pretty cute looking herself...don't be fooled, she is wickedly sassy

A quiet moment of peace...

I am having a rare moment of peace right now. That doesn't happen much these days. However, Ellie is at t-ball, Kailey is in bed, and Landon is right here in his sling sleeping away. I found my sling back today. Oh, how I needed that! I have 2 whole hands in which to stop hair-pulling, chocolate-milk-spilling, "she took that right out of my dollhouse" moments. Only one complaint was lodged, by Kailey during her Einstein-viewing just before bedtime "baby, MOVE!" And the poor little baby MIGHT have gotten shoved over just a bit so mickey mouse could occupy some precious little space left on my lap.
This is my life these days. And it is just fine with me :)

And Then There Were Three...

2010-06-19T18:53:00.009-05:00

My sweet boy

Landon Jacob Mady joined our family on June 9, 2010, his aunt Emily's 19th birthday.

Better than a Vera Bradley bag...

7 pounds, 13 ounces, 19 inches long, he was my biggest baby. He has masses of dark black hair that sticks up everywhere.

He is so stinking cute!

His sisters are totally in love...
Big sister Ellie snuggling her new baby brother

Kailey cannot get enough of him! She just adores her baby.

And Daddy has his hands totally full...

And a few months later....

2010-03-11T14:45:00.002-06:00

So, I took a little break from updating recently to get used to the major changes in our life. First, and most importantly, of course, is the new addition to our family. We are so very excited to be joining TEAM BLUE in June! Most of you know I have pretty complicated pregnancies, and two in less than two years has been rather hard on me. We have countless doctor visits, tests, ultrasounds, etc in front of us in the next few months. But of course, it is all worth it in the end. It always has been.
Since this little guy is going to be joining our lives, some other changes have to be made. I gave up my charge nurse position at the hospital. I needed to be home more with my kids, and to have more time to go to all these appointments. I also switched to night shift for the same reasons. Wow, that has been hard on me. I am hoping, though, that these changes are the steps towards me finally getting to stay home with my kids most of the time. I know that we would all benefit from having me home more. Already, we have.
In addition, we have to get a move on the basement. Gotta get that done, so we can get the kids rooms done. Ellie and Kailey will be sharing a room, and of course, Ellie has BIG ideas on what we are doing. And I am bound and determined to get the nursery I have never been able to do with my other two.
Ellie began riding the bus this semester. It was a huge big girl step that I was so proud of her for taking! She is insisting that next year, she will NOT be going to first grade, she will be staying home and homeschooling. Don't really think that is going to be an option next year ;)
Kailey is talking up a storm, and sassy as can be. She has so much to say, and she is so much like Ellie was at that age. She loves Elmo, Baby Einstein, playing babies, and going shopping. She about can't contain herself when we ask her if she wants to go to Target.

So, that is what is happening here! I would like to get some pics posted soon, and I will sure try! Our little man is doing very well, and of course, we already have an album full of ultrasound pics of him! The girls are super excited about getting a baby brother, and Ellie especially had enjoyed shopping for him.

And with that, my girl is beckoning me from her crib. Break time over!

Christmas Story

2009-12-11T15:50:00.002-06:00

Here is this year's edition of our Holiday Letter.

Christmas Letter 2009

Believe me, I'll know who has watched it all!!

PS: vista users, click on the support tab on the photodex and it should walk you through how to allow the program :)

Ellie Says...

2009-12-09T19:27:00.002-06:00

"Mother, would you please sit that baby's butt in time out!"

Me- "Why didn't you zip your coat?" (you know, cause it's only 12 below zero)
Ellie-"Well, mom, the people wouldn't see my dress>"

"How come Aunt Emily gets a coach purse? I just want ONE coach purse!"

Ellie- "I think I want a DS and an American Girl Doll for Christmas."
Me- "Well, I'm pretty sure each child only gets one expensive gift, so you'll probably only get one"
Ellie- "Well, that's between me and Santa, isn't it?"

"Mom, do you think the next time I break my arm, Daddy will get me the big pet shop?" (Good Lord, any more broken bones in this child, and they'll haul me off)

Ellie-"Ok, Mom, that was really stupid of you"
Me- "Stupid is not a nice word"
Ellie- "I know, but it doesn't change the fact that that was really stupid"

and for good measure:

When I see bunny crackers raining down over the bannister:
Me- "Kailey!!"
Kailey- throwing her hands into the air- "Happened, mommy?"

They will be the end of me....

A Bit of the Last Month

2009-11-16T13:16:00.002-06:00

The pretty little fairy

Hanging out in her tutu

Halloween Parade at school

Carving the pumpkin

Playing at the beach

Collecting shells

Having ice cream on the balcony

More to come, I promise!!

2009-11-13T20:24:00.005-06:00

The Flower Girl

And the tired little sister

I took a little blogging break recently, as real life is sucking my time away. So, I promise that I will get up some pics of the beach, of halloween, and of my cutie pies very soon!

We are doing well, just a whole lot of stuff happening around here lately!!!

Boys vs Girls

2009-09-23T13:18:00.002-05:00

Well, isn't that the age old question?

I recently read an article on which gender is harder to raise, boys or girls. This article talked about many different aspects of raising your children, from communication, to discipline, to safety. It talked about how, statistically boys were more difficult in this certain area, and girls in that, and blah, blah, blah.

You get the idea.

Articles like this irritate me immensely. Why I read them, I'll never understand. I have never thought it fair to classify children whether or not they are hard to raise. First of all, isn't child rearing supposed to be hard? I really don't ever remembering dropping off a baby girl on my doorstep and telling me she'd be all sweetness and sunshine all the time. No one ever said that when you have a child, things are going to get easier. That is part of the sacrifice that we, as parents, are willing to make. But to actually label a child as harder to raise than another, seems too harsh to me.

Every one's idea of what is hard is different. For some, the world of fairytale and make believe that I live in must seem easy. Two little girls, all sweetness and sunshine, long brown hair and chocolate eyes. Dressed in pretty dresses and matching bows. Perfect. Lovely. Easy. However, we have been through more major injuries than most little boys I know. We make mud puddles on "rock mountain" in our backyard. Both boy dominated worlds, or so you will read. And the communication? Well, lets just say that whoever says a little girl is easier to communicate and reason with hasn't had the experience of talking to one since, little girls are midget adolescent girls waiting to be unleashed.

And my view of boys is probably a bit tainted too. They don't all love their mama's best or play ball well with the other boys. Boys are not any easier than girls, that much I know is true. But as a whole, do I think one sex is harder than the other? Nope. Not one bit. Because to say that gives many new parents a negative view and attitude on the challenge of raising their children. "The expert says my son will be hard to discipline, so I can't do this or that because that is just hard for him." "My daughter will hard to talk to when she is older, so I should just expect that."

Each child comes with his or her own set of inborn challenges that we, as parents, have to learn how to handle. And while one child may present more challenges than another, we have to turn our entire heart and mind into being up for the challenge. The prize is raising happy, successful, competent adults, and knowing that we shaped that adult into who they are. The hoops we have to jump through along the way are part of the process. Sometimes we miss and knock a hoop down. Sometime we fall though one. We hop up, dust ourselves off and keep on jumping.

So, should it be Boys vs Girls? No. As a mother of girls, I will do my very best to make sure my daughters are happy, confident, and successful. I will show them how to be assertive, how to make their own way in the world and how prepare themselves to be good wives and mothers someday. And I would hope that the mommies of boys would do the same. Because in the end, boys and girls work and live side by side. And as adults, we must deal with both boys and girls, men and women. And as we all know as well, it is the quality of character in the individual person that makes them easy or difficult to work with or be with.

Not that they are a boy or a girl.

A Bit of This and That

2009-09-14T12:41:00.003-05:00

I don't suppose you all could take me to Disney World? See, I went and found this book all by myself to read about it.

Let me just get situated...

I gotta read about the mouse.

September is here, and we are busy as usual. Kailey is 15 months today. (sigh) She went for her checkup today, and has gained a whopping ounce. You know, the difference in how much air blew on the scale this time. Her height and head are exactly the same as before. She has ground to a screeching halt with her growth. I'm not too worried about it though. Ellie currently is exactly 15 pounds heavier than Kailey is. You know, Ellie could still be in a rear facing car seat, if not for the fact that she would look weird when we pulled up to school :) My girls are tiny and tall. I have no idea where they got that trait. It most certainly was not their mother.
Kailey is walking all over and talking up a storm. She has learned to climb well, and climbed up the drawers on the counter the other day. She climbs up shelves in the closet. She navigates the stairs very well on her own. She is jabbering a lot. She says a few things like mama, dada, Ellie (ey-e), dog, and of course our favorites-princess (sis-sis) and mickey (ke-ke) The girl loves her mickey and her elmo.
We have started on our mini fence. It is our way of having a place for the dogs so that we can travel. They can just come in and out as they please. Except that we forgot the fact that we live on a solid slab of rock. So putting in 8 fence post ended up taking 2 days and involved jackhammering and pulling rocks out with our bare hands. It will be worth it when we are not spending hundreds to board the dogs, or worse, having to stay home.
And of course, we are working on our basement. Slowly but surely, all these projects are getting accomplished. By Christmas, we will hopefully have a great basement space to play and relax in. And then, I'm sure we'll find something else to occupy our time...

Tutu Cute

2009-09-05T20:00:00.002-05:00

14 months

Loving my cute new pink tutu!

I am so happy!

And so super cute!!

Just Some Random Pics

2009-08-27T10:07:00.003-05:00

Project the first day of school

Showing off her new dress

Splashing in the pool

Slipping and sliding

The cookie dough thief. She pushed the stepstool over to the counter all by herself.

Kindergarten Woes

2009-08-18T21:01:00.002-05:00

Kindergarten is hard.

Very very hard.

So hard, that I haven't been able to post pics of my baby's first day.

Because there were tears.

And a lot of them.

The kindergartener has had a very rough start.

As has her mom and dad.

Hopefully, this will improve. Hopefully we won't regret putting her in public school this year. Hopefully, this is the right decision.

Cause Kindergarten has been a nightmare so far...

A Bit from Minnesota

2009-07-22T16:38:00.003-05:00

Crawling through the tree at the Children's museum
Ditto...

What's in this mailbox?

The girls with Great Grammy Eleanor

Ellie and 95 year old great grammy

Just chilling

There are some thinks that dramatically drop your manhood-this could be one..

Eating with her American Girl at the cafe

She's been waiting to eat here for a very long time!

The girls playing at the Lego store at the Mall of America

About Time!

2009-07-08T12:00:00.003-05:00

It's amazing what you can accomplish when your big sister is out of town and unable to cater to your every desire :)

Just A Few Pictures

2009-07-02T15:43:00.002-05:00

My hot and sweaty baby

Being so sweet... (look, no cast!)

We feed these goats every time we come to Deanna Rose

Just hanging out

Kailey's First Birthday Party

2009-06-15T10:16:00.004-05:00

Playing with the presents Mommy, Daddy and Ellie got me

I still am refusing to walk....

Checking out my presents. My big sister helped me with opening them.So pretty!

Checking out this cake that's all for me!

Mmmm, cake!

I'm making a really big mess!But I really liked it!

Happy 1st Birthday, Kailey!!

2009-06-14T22:17:00.002-05:00

Our Sweet baby girl is one!

Birthday party pictures tomorrow!!

Eighteen

2009-06-09T21:33:00.003-05:00

Happy Birthday Baby Sister!

My sister Emily, turned eighteen today. I don't know how we got here. Eighteen years old and, in the eyes of the world, a legal adult. No longer the little girl that I'd grown so used to having for a sister. We have lived apart longer then we ever lived together. I left behind a little girl, only three years older than Ellie now, when I joined the world as an adult. While I was starting a family, she was working through her junior high years. And now she leaves school as my own child begins it.
I missed it. Here she is, all grown up and I missed it all.
Not by choice, but by the nature of our lives. It is nothing that can be helped, nor anything that could change. It is inevitable that this would happen, for we are so far apart in age.
I always knew this day would come. I always knew she would become this adult, this beautiful girl that could navigate her own way through the world. I knew that she would be smarter, prettier and much more prepared for what life has in store than I ever was.
I always knew it, but I never believed it would happen.
The little girl I left behind has grown up without me. I know she needed her big sister along the way, but not in the way I wanted to be there for her. Let's face it, I was raising babies of my own, busy with my life.
I shouldn't be sad that this day has come. A day we all anticipated so much we could taste it, when it was our turn. I am so very excited for her. So happy she is ready for all life will throw.
But I am sad. Because, she is all grown up. And she did it without me there.

Happy 18th Birthday Emily. You were the dream that made me believe dreams come true. You were my first real prayer answered. You will always and forever be my baby sister, and I will always and forever love you.

A Blast From the Past

2009-06-07T21:43:00.003-05:00

Ellie sitting in the drawer
Ellie having an ice cream cone

Kailey having an ice cream cone

Kailey sitting in the drawer

After I took these pictures of Kailey the other day, I realized that I had the exact same ones of Ellie at the same age! It cracks me up that my girls just love sitting in the drawer!

Dancing Away

2009-06-01T07:26:00.003-05:00

All her pretty flowers for a job well done

Modeling her pretty fairy costume and her brand new cast!

Dancing to the fairy dance!

Mine is obviously the one with the hot pink arm :)

Ellie did so wonderful in her dance recital. She was able to get a short waterproof cast just the day before, and is so much happier with it. Much less heavy and bulky, and much easier to keep her clean!! She ended up with her other cast for 3 weeks and this one about 4 1/2 weeks, and then MAYBE she'll get it off. One of her bones still has a lot of healing to do.

A Little Accident

2009-05-09T14:38:00.002-05:00

Before the "incident" we were having such a good time.

Just swinging and playing outside on a beautiful day...

Ellie giving me the "get out from in front of the TV" look

And now I am interrupting Pet Shop playing

Yeah, those darn monkey bars finally got us! Or as Ellie told the Urgent Care, the ER and everyone in between, "My mommy was trying to teach me to fall on my feet. And she didn't catch me and I fell on my arm instead." Nice. Rub a little salt in the wound there, chickie.
As soon as she fell, we could tell it was broken. It was obviously deformed. Me, trying to be optimistic, took her to the UCC. We went straight back, past all the hacking people that had been there for two hours. They took an xray, took one look, and sent us straight downtown to the ER to see the Orthopedic surgeon. My poor girl was so good, getting her IV, getting put to sleep so they could reduce the fracture, and getting casted. She only cried for a minute when they put in the IV, otherwise she was just as good as gold the entire time. They put an ugly surgery cast on, huge and all the way up to her armpit. Since she broke both bones, and one was displaced, they didn't want to take any chances with it shifting. We go back to ortho on tuesday, where we should get a much prettier cast that is waterproof (thank goodness!) and we are hoping they'll do a short arm cast this week too.
She is doing pretty good. Enjoying being waited on hand and foot. This afternoon she is up a bit more, with her sling on, playing computer and blowing bubbles outside. We don't yet know the fate of T-ball or dance. We find out tuesday. Here's hoping we are not laid up too long!

Day One-April 21- Happy BIrthday Ellie!

2009-04-30T14:54:00.003-05:00

Just a few photos from the first day of our trip, which happened to be Ellie's 5th Birthday!

Getting her hair glittered at the Magic Kingdom Barbar Shop

Kailey got her first haircut there too! They gave her those cute pink ears for the occasion.

Waiting for Chef Mickey's. Yes, Kailey is chewing on the nasty thing they give you to wait for your table. No, I didn't know until after this was taken. Yes it is disgusting and she'll probably get swine flu. Too late now...

Kailey's first encounter with the Mouse himself.

My princesses with the princess in residence.
Meeting Tinkerbell. We waited in the longest line I've ever waited in Disney to see her. We saw her for exactly 30 seconds. But to Ellie, worth every one of those seconds...

Mommy and Kailey hanging out at Disney!

Would you people please stop making me have fun?

More to follow soon!

See Ya Real Soon!

2009-04-18T18:39:00.002-05:00

Would you like some soup?

OK, I am on a blogging break from now until we get back from our trip!! Wish us luck that we all survive the happiest place on earth with the baby princess!!

Kickin' Talent's Rear

2009-04-15T21:23:00.002-05:00

Ok, so I love America's Got Talent. It is one of my very few shows that, when it's on, I'm a faithful fan. So believe you me, I would have loved to had been in this audience for Britain's Got Talent. I love it when the underdog comes out on top!! Don't forget to turn your sound up!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DdT3ZPV-A4A&feature=bz301

What Every Girl Must Learn...

2009-04-07T21:01:00.005-05:00

The Scene: Ellie and I are driving in the car...

Ellie: Mommy, want to learn my song from school?
Me: Sure
Ellie: Ok, I'll sing and you repeat. (sings song)
Me: repeating song after her (something about some bird that goes cheep cheep)
Ellie: Mommy, that was SO good! I mean, it took Daddy like, four times to get it right. I mean, seriously Mom, he just kept screwing it up!
Me: trying not to laugh Was Daddy just being silly?
Ellie: No Mommy, I don't think so. He just really didn't have a clue.

And with that, my sweet girl, you have just summed up the entire problem the rest of us have with men.

When Things Slip Out..

2009-04-01T14:35:00.003-05:00

Shh, nobody tell my mom about this!

The girls and I have been hitting the round of consignment sales this week. We've been having great fun, checking out the bargains, finding new outfits and toy to add to our already-too-large collection. Well one morning we went shopping, found a few things and then got in line to pay. And we waited. And waited. And waited. About 45 minutes into the wait, Ellie began complaining that her feet hurt.

Well, it was more like, "I. Just. Can't. Stand. Any. Moooorrrrreeee!"

Kailey was in her beco carrier on my front, so I slipped it onto my back, reached down and and scooped Ellie up. She snuggled into me and I could feel Kailey snuggling into her arms. They were both content to wait a bit longer. Cause we were almost at the front of the line, and I was not about to get out now.

I was a bit stressed now because I did not anticipate waiting an hour to check out. I had just over an hour to get these girls home, fed, wait for daddy, then be at a meeting for work. We are rounding this big table of shoes, me holding two kids and kicking my laundry basket full of loot in front of me, when I see these two women staring at me.

Just staring away.

I tried really hard to ignore them. But they kept looking at me like I'd grown another head. (actually, I had two additional ones, but that's besides the point)

Then I hear one woman, staring at me, tell her friend,

"I don't know WHY she's carrying that big girl around." GASP! NO, YOU DID NOT!!

And then, I couldn't help it, it just slipped out...

"And I don't see WHY its any of your business" And they stared, shocked at me, and quickly looked away. All the other people stared at me, though.

Ok, I do not talk to strangers this way. EVER. But seriously people, here I am, sweating bullets cause it's hot and I'm stressed out, its way to crowded for my germy self in here. Ellie hasn't had a snack in a long time, so I'm sure her blood sugar has plummeted. Kailey is getting sleepy and ready for a nap. I am hauling around 50+ pounds of kids, kicking a very full laundry basket, and just minding my own business. And you pick NOW to mess with me?

Maybe next time, you'll mind your own business. Or maybe next time I'll tell you what I REALLY think. Or maybe I'll say nothing, take the high road and ignore such petty comments.

Yeah. Sure I will. And pigs fly.

Round 'Em Up

2009-03-24T21:14:00.003-05:00

Anybody know where my big sister went?

Today, I took my girl to Kindergarten roundup. Ellie didn't want to go. She kept telling me she would be too sad to go, that she wanted to just stay home with me. Ok fine, we'll just stay home forever. I'll homeschool you and you will never have to go to Kindergarten

Daddy did not agree.

So, off we went to visit our new school. It is only a few years old. The building is still shiny and new. In we walked though the front doors.

I hated it immediately. There are cinderblock walls. Cinderblock! They use that in prisons!! My baby cannot go, she is too little, too small. There was a class full of bigger kids in the hallway. She clung to my hand and I fought the urge to scoop her up and run the other way. A mom from the neighborhood waived at me as we walked down the hallway.

We walked in the room, and I began to fill out forms. One of the teachers gave her a nametag and took her by the hand and said, "Come on Ellie, lets go play!" Ok, now I know I'm overreacting here, but isn't that exactly what I've told her not to do, go off and play with strangers? I mean, I don't know these people. I'm sure they're lovely, but where the h*** are you taking my baby? You can't take her to the Kindergarten classroom. She doesn't like Kindergarten. Ok, mama, just breathe. No child molesters here, just sweet teachers.

The principal came and shook my hand. I couldn't even say anything. I was afraid I'd melt down, and then I'd be remembered as that mom. You know, that crazy lady who broke down filling out the paperwork. The one who can't stand to let her baby be walked 10 feet away from her. And then the teacher from the next room comes to me and the stressed out parents next to me.

"Excuse me, are you Emily and Ellie's parents?" OMG, OMG!! What have you done to my baby! Where is she, what happened! WHY ARE YOU STANDING THERE GRINNING AT ME, YOU SADISTIC LADY?

"Yes, I'm Ellie's mom" (Ok, so at least it didn't come out crazy)

"Well, they are just having the best time, they are playing together and coloring. You are going to have a hard time making them leave!"

And I hear it. She is laughing in the next room. I go over to investigate, and sure enough, there she is, playing with her new friend. They are having a puppet show with the dolls. And neither one wants to leave. She loves Kindergarten. She can't wait to go in the fall. She can't wait to show her school to her daddy. She can't wait to meet new friends, and have art, and P.E. and music. And all of the sudden, she is in love with Kindergarten.

I sucked it up as we walked out. I oohed and aahed over the walls, covered with pictures that I didn't see before. We peeked in the lunchroom, and the gym. We went out to dinner to celebrate, and had ice cream. And she is so very excited.

I hope she'll do OK. Because I'm not going to. Obviously

R.I.P. Laptop, You Are Missed

2009-03-22T21:12:00.004-05:00

My big sister and I were being fairies.

Aren't I just so pretty?

Uh, mom, there's someone looking at me in here...

Ok, so my laptop has officially died. The screen on it went out, which is the true death of a laptop. So I am behind on things because I would have to use the desktop computer, which is in the office. And away from two mobile children who would wreack havoc on my house in the few moments I was gone. Not to mention this fancy camera takes forever to download pictures....

We finally got the swingset back up this weekend. Not nearly as costly to fix as I'd originally thought. Now we have found a few other projects to work on that will take up our time and money.

Kailey is trying so very hard to walk, but she just isn't there yet. But really, who needs walking when this is your mode of transportation?

Sometimes I Wonder...

2009-03-12T20:53:00.003-05:00

When is my mommy coming home?

...if my kids will look back on their childhood days and remember a fun mom? Or will they remember a mom who worked too much, cleaned too much, and was tired all the time?

Each day I wake up with the same goal: I will spend more time with my girls. And each night, I feel like I failed. That I spent too much time trying to work, and then play catch up on my days off from working. So I vow that tomorrow will be different, I'll do better, have more fun, play more, and snuggle more.

And then tomorrow comes and nothing changes.

I'm so tired from busting my rear for 12 hours, and have a whole house to clean, laundry, dishes, cooking. And my poor kids get the leftovers.

Maybe you all are better at this work/family balance thing. Maybe you all think I am. Maybe tomorrow I will be.

But tonight, with my girls just begging for my attention, I am not feeling very confident in the whole "having it all" charade.

But, tomorrow, I'll get up. I'll go to work. I'll do the best I can, and give the most I can. And then, I'll come home, and kiss my babies goodnight. Because they will already be asleep.

And when Saturday comes, I'll try again to be the "best mommy ever." And keep hoping that my girls remember that part of their childhood. The part where they knew that their mommy loved them, even when she was tired.

Bathtime Pics

2009-03-09T16:26:00.002-05:00

Gotta love bathtime, and my princess ducky
Splish, Splash, I was takin' a bath....

What are you doing?

I know we've ALL felt this way about our computer...

So, finally, I think the baby has this naptime thing figured out. She will actually nap for longer than 30 minutes at a time, with is fabulous. Now I can actually get to some things once in awhile. Ellie and I made cookies this morning after our doctor's visit. We did not get to go to playgroup today. Ellie is still coughing, and I would feel rude hauling her over to hack on all the other kids toys. And we are supposed to be tackling the playroom, but I think we will do that later.

I am going to try to get a video of my mobile baby tonight, so maybe I can get it posted.

I'm not feeling especially profound today. I do want to comment on that last picture. Since Matt is a computer guy, we have many, many parts of computers at our house. Well, since we are decluttering, that means some of the deceased pieces have to go. We are no longer a retirement home for aging and diseased pieces of old computers that should have gone on to a better place a long time ago. So, Ellie got her chance to smash them up. She really had great fun, and I had visions of doing that to a certain portable sat monitor that I am forced to work with...

Snow Day

2009-03-02T21:19:00.003-06:00

Ellie making her snow angels
Sledding for the very first time

We have the best sledding hill in our yard

Just getting pulled around!

Well my girls enjoyed the very last snowfall of the seaon. And I am glad she got one use out of that snowsuit!

Such Big Girls!

2009-02-26T21:35:00.004-06:00

She begged and begged to get her ears pierced. I caved.
Look at this big girl. She can stand all by herself and push her stroller!

My baby girl has been sick this week. Fevering and snotty and not interested in sleeping well. Finally, she is sleeping in her bed tonight instead of her swing (thank goodness I kept that take-along!) So she is feeling better, and hopefully I'll get some sleep tonight and can go to work tomorrow.
Ellie has been totally obsessed with getting her ears pierced this week. I was shocked that she did, since she is terrified of needles. But she kept begging and begging to please get her ears pierced. So I finally took her last night. And she sat still as can be and got it done. She is so very proud of her sparkly pink flower earrings. And she looks so old with them on. She is so very diligent about reminding us to clean them. And of course, they go with her shiny pink headband.

Kailey has been pulling herself up on stuff and attempting to cruise around. She shoves her stroller forward and tries to follow it, but her feet are a bit slower. Sometimes she can step, othertimes, she just falls over.

We have had a fairly uneventful week this week, just cleaning up snot and puke and handing out tylenol and motrin. I did steal an idea from Jodi and updated my music player with my girls' favorite lullaby, baby of mine. All mommies have a special song for their kids, and that is mine. Also added a few song from the Sound of Music, which is one of Ellie's favorite movies.

Out of The Mouths of Little Girls

2009-02-18T19:55:00.003-06:00

When I told her to have Daddy help her...
"Daddies are so much stronger than mommies. And they are so much skinnier."

When she accidently pinched her baby sister's fingers
"Aww, crap, that sucks, baby girl."

When I told her to quit messing around...
"Mommy, I'm not messing around, I'm just taking my time."

When she had to help pick up her room...
"Are we just going to clean until we die?"

When I thanked her for helping out Kailey...
"I'm the best big sister ever, right Mom? And you are not."

When I tried to recomb her ratty hair...
"Will you quit jacking with my curls!"

When I'd had it and yelled at her go do something...
"When I'm the mom, I'm not going to boss small childs around all day"

I always wanted a sweet, kind little girl. I guess the apple doesn't fall that far from the tree :)

Just Some Cuteness...

2009-02-16T21:58:00.005-06:00

I'm smiling so big...
For my very own paparazzi...

I'm getting lazy with my blogging lately. We have this fancy new camera, and I don't know how to download the pics to my computer yet. Ok, thats just another excuse. I'm too lazy to learn. I mean why bother when you live with a computer nerd who will do it for you? (I, of course, say that with utmost love.)

Very busy week this week, and not really much new to write. My baby turned 8 months old on Valentine's day. She is standing up by herself now. She can crawl all over, anywhere she wants. And if she can't get it, her big sister will haul her over to whatever she wants. The child has life by the tail. She refuses to eat baby food. She is entirely too good for such things as mashed carrots. She must have bits of real food, or she just throws a hissy fit.

Ellie discovered she liked guacamole this week. I about fell over. I mean, that doesn't go well with PB &J or chicken nuggets, now does it? We also discovered that she has an ever so slightly loose tooth. I mean, we're talking months before this sucker comes out. However, she is now sure she can't possibly go to school with a loose tooth, and, oh my lord, there could be BLOOD when it falls out? What ever shall she do??

Our Fabulous Find

2009-02-06T08:57:00.002-06:00

Ok, so I will admit, there has been an obsession going on at my house late last week into early this week. It cut a bit into everything we do. You know, like housekeeping, parenting, working, etc. A website called Last Minute Travel has been running this promo that you can book a hotel for 7 nights for one dollar a night. The catch is, it is only 15 minutes a day, in whatever incriments they choose. And you never know when this will occur. So, Matt and I have been completely obsessed with getting a free room at Disney World (our fav vacation destination.) We have been up all night, all hours of the day, stalking this website. Last friday we had it in our grasps, and then the computer rebooted. I was so upset. Matt, however was absolutly determined. So on we pursued. Then, on Tuesday, when I was at work, he managed to get it. 7 nights free at Disney world. In the hotel Ellie wanted originally. We already had a pretty good package booked, but if we would pay rack rate, we are saving over $800. And, disney is running this promo this year where, for your birthday, you get free park admission or the equivilent in a gift card to spend at the park. Since we we will have multi day tickets, we will get the gift card. And since Ellie and I have birthdays in the same week, we will get TWO cards. So yeah, with flights, room, tickets, and food, this will be one of the cheapest vacations we've ever taken (including to St. Louis!)
We are beyond excited!! Mickey Mouse, here we come!!

Crawling All Around

2009-02-01T16:25:00.005-06:00

My little hacker (literally-see the busted keys?)
On my way to my big sister!
Gonna see what she's got for me!

Oh, but what's this?

My baby and my stroller!

Sick big sister, baby getting two more teeth. Mommy working overtime, Daddy getting stuff done. Decluttering, basement cleaning, perpetual laundry, meetings, errands, park visits, more overtime, and vacation planning (hence all the overtime :).

That pretty much sums up this week!

In the Middle of the Night

2009-01-25T02:07:00.002-06:00

I'm really not used to being at work in the middle of the night. To be honest, it's really quite nice. Very calm and peaceful compared to the utter chaos of the day. If I could actually get some sleep during the day, this might be something I could handle. But, sleep is quite important to me...
Ellie got to stay this weekend at her Aunt's house for the very first time. She was beside herself, she was so excited. She told Daddy about a hundred times not to pick her up from school on Friday, that she was probably going to stay two nights, so please pack her clothes. She seems to be having a good time.
Well since I have time...On Christmas morning I got unexpectedly cancelled. While that was great, that I got to stay home with my family, I couldn't go back to sleep after getting woke unexpectedly that early in the morning. So I laid their and for whatever reason started thinking of when Hurricane Katrina hit. After New Orleans flooded, some of the kiddos were evacuated to our hospital from the children's hospital there. I was charging Friday, Saturday and Sunday, and they came on thursday morning. We didn't have anyone here those days to accept donations, so that responsibility fell to me. I will never forget the outporing from the community. I spent the entire day friday and saturday accepting wagon after wagon full of donations. By lunchtime that friday, I had received over $1000 in gift cards. I had them all in a little paper bag by my desk, and I had a heck of a time walking away, even after I kept hiding them. Finally, the pharmacist gave me a locked bin in the medication machine to keep them in, so I wouldn't have to stalk them. The hallway was full of wagons of donations. I had never seen such generosity in my life, and to this day, that still sticks with me.
I don't know why I thought of that on Christmas morning. I can't even remember what brought it on. I just know I was thinking, I want to see this all the time, and I want everyone to know what it's like, to be so overwhelmed with kindness and goodness. I hope that my girls will someday know what that feels like. I wasn't the receiver of the gifts. But I tell you what. I got to hand out those gifts. And I remember the familes just sobbing and saying how thankful they were. And, of course, I cried a little too. So while those who gave so much may never know it, they truely made a diference. If only we could all be so lucky.

Cold Nights

2009-01-19T21:21:00.003-06:00

I just gotta see my doggie!

Ignore the hair. Her daddy gives her that awful combover.
My big sister loves to feed me!

This would be a really cute picture if not for the fat black eye. Maybe I can photoshop it.

What?

Well, it has been super cold here. And Kailey's room is 20 degrees colder than the rest of the house. I'm not kidding, I took a thermometer to it to show my point. Matt took off the baseboard and put some fomey stuff under it and claimed it was warmer. I don't think so. I cranked up the heat in the house. Not very budget friendly, but the baby can't freeze!
Ellie and I are reading the Little House series. We just finished little house in the big woods. She is loving it so far! In the current book, Laura and her family are moving from Wisconsin to Kansas. And they travel through Minnesota, Iowa, and Missouri. She thinks that is way cool since that is the way we go when we go to Minnesota. I think we will try to get to the museum up there when we go next time.

Both my girls have felt the need for overnight visits the last few nights, and I am dead tired, and gotta get up for work tomorrow. So not much from here on this boring night.

7 Months

2009-01-14T12:42:00.003-06:00

Sitting like a big girl!

Showing off my cute teeth

I meant to write this post yesterday, but yesterday got away from me.

My baby girl is 7 months old.

That is, she is officially in the second half of her first year.

My little baby is literally growing up before my eyes. I know that happens. My first baby did the same thing. And now she tells me all about what a big girl she is.

Kailey is beginning to eat more food. She prefers food with texture we have discovered. She'll be demanding chicken nuggets soon too, I just know it. She has had her bottom teeth for a couple months now.

She slept through the night four straight nights in a row. And then realized the error of her ways and is back for her 1:00 am snacks. She does sleep better on her tummy, and she flops right on it as soon as we put her to bed.

She loves her big sister. Ellie can make her laugh almost on command.

She says Da-da. I sternly scolded her, and reminded her who it was that was ill for 9 months, endured countless doctor appointments, labs, and ultrasounds, went through 21 hour of labor, and has gotten up and fed her every night of her 7 months of life. But no, still its all DA-DA.

She is trying so hard to crawl. There is just too much fun stuff just out of reach.

She is an absolute sweetie, and I will try not to be sad that she is getting so big. Try being the key word here.

Nighttime Ramblings

2009-01-09T21:21:00.002-06:00

It seems as though my girls are having growth spurts. Or, at least that's the standard reason for why they want to be up all hours of the night. Kailey has required a date at least 2 times each night the last few evenings. I know she should be past snacking in the middle of the night, but, she just screams and cries unless I feed her. I'm not that sure she's getting enough to eat in the evenings, and I've been supplementing, but that's not quite doing it. Here's to hoping this is just a phase.
Ellie, on the other hand, I just don't know. A few mornings ago, she woke up sobbing at around 5 am. Matt got up and went to check on her, Kailey and I were sacked out in bed, trying to catch a few minutes of sleep that we didn't get overnight. So I hear her crying and repeating the same thing over and over. It doesn't sound quite right, so I get up and go check on her. Sure enough, she's saying exactly what I thought..

"I want Baby Alive! I want Baby Alive!"

Now she did have this on her christmas list, but no one got it for her. Apparently, she is crushed. So, I told her we'd save our money and buy her. She has a chore chart that she is diligently working on in order to earn enough money for Baby Alive. This thing better be great, as much as she keeps asking for it.
Then, yesterday night, about 10:45, I'm getting ready to go up to bed. And here she comes, down the stairs, completely dressed, hair done, music shut off in her room. And ready for her day. Only problem was, it was still the night, and we hadn't gone to bed yet. She apparently woke up and got confused.

Today at school, she got clocked by some hard plastic toy. She has a fancy shiner on her eye. I hope it doesn't swell too much. She didn't seem too phased by it, just complaining of a bit of soreness. But I'm pretty sure that's gonna look quite pretty by morning.

Pray for Baby Miranda

2009-01-04T20:08:00.003-06:00

Miranda Rae is the niece of a coworker and friend of mine. She was born on January 2, 2009 at 23 weeks gestation. April has started a blog in order for everyone to follow her progress as they begin the long struggle that NICU life brings. Miranda's mother has lost 2 previous babies, and she is their miracle. So please add her to your prayers tonight. She needs all that she can get.

Well Merry Freaking Christmas

2008-12-28T21:46:00.003-06:00

This looks like a very heavy and possibly expensive problem.
That would be our swingset, pulled out of the ground and pitched 10 feet across the lawn.

We think this climber is going to be salvagable, after we looked at it closer.

The playhouse, not so much.

We came home from my parents to this mess in our yard. Our sweet neighbors had piled up the plastic for us, and told us it was strewn down the block. Our swingset wasn't just tipped over, but actually picked up and pitched. We won't know the full extent of the damage until my brother comes over tomorrow to help us pick it up. The thing weighs several hundred pounds. I am praying that it is structually ok, but the slide and rock wall are ruined for sure. It could have been far, far worse. That swingset could have been tossed into our house. Or we could have been home, and been outside. So I am trying to be thankful for what we do have. I can still be a little ticked off though. Good thing we brought home Aunt Emily. She's got to babysit while I pick up the rest of the playhouse off the golf course.

Christmas Pictures

2008-12-25T22:14:00.005-06:00

Matt said it perfectly: "I feel like we should be praying that the offering is good enough."

Spoiled children.
Excuse me Ellie, I need to see that.What the... Good Lord! Santa brought me a MOOSE!

Sorry Mr. Moose, I need to check out this lion now.

A Barbie and a "bucket of sparkles"

body glitter-what was Santa thinking?

Ellie got her Tag Reader she's been itching to have!

Ellie's new computer Santa brought just for her games.

It was free, quit freaking out, I hear you all.

Playing on her new train table-finally somewhere for her trains to drive

My mommy gave me some of this puff pastery she made for breakfast.

All sugar and spice and lovely!

Ellie's new costume from her Aunt Heather

She's a Radio City Rockette, people. Not a streetwalker.

But don't look when she bends over, the shorts don't cover much!

Santa Came to Town!!

2008-12-24T17:25:00.003-06:00

Well, Santa got our email. He knew that mommy has to take care of the sick babies tomorrow, so he came last night! We woke up on Christmas eve to a mountain of presents and toys. Guess two little girls were pretty good this year! I have some pics to post when Matt gets back with the camera.
Kailey is sick, so she is spending her first Christmas Eve home with mommy while Daddy and Ellie went to his parents. She has been very snotty and not wanting to eat very well. We are hoping to avoid the urgent care at this point, so she is getting suctioned very frequently. And she's been getting bottles today, since that seems to be easier for her than nursing. Hopefully she is at the worst and will be getting better soon. We are supposed to go to my parents for christmas this weekend, but we will have to see how she is doing. Hopefully Ellie doesn't turn up with it next. This is the first Christmas of my life I haven't been able to go to church. But I don't want my baby around other people right now.
This child has been ill entirely too much. We hardly ever get her out, but from now on we are going to try to avoid going out with her at all. So she probably won't see much of anyone between now and spring. My poor baby is just sick constantly, and I don't want her exposed to more illness. She isn't getting it from me, Matt or Ellie. We are extremely diligent about keeping her healthy. So we are going into semi-hibernation for the winter.
Well, Kailey and I are off to snuggle in the chair and watch a movie with some popcorn. Hope you all have a Merry Christmas, and pics to follow soon!!

Have You Ever Wondered...

2008-12-21T20:28:00.004-06:00

I have some questions in my life that have been unanswered recently. For example...

Why did my laundry increase so much with the addition of one child? I swear, we can't go one day without doing several loads lest we be buried by it.
How on earth does one family consume an entire Costco bag of chicken nuggets in a month? That is way too many chicken nuggets for a certain small child.
How exactly do children grow overnight? I just bought Ellie pants, and they are too short already.
Why, when it is freaking cold out, do doggies feel the need to potty 18 times a day, when normally they would not feel this need?
Where are all my scrunchies? Found them-tied around Ellie's bed posts.
Exactly how do I get the melted crayon out of my cupholder in my car? Its very stubborn.
When did I get so very boring? This very thought crossed my mind as I wrapped a mountain of toys in tinkerbell paper last night. Good grief, many of my own aged folks still hang out in westport. I've never even been to westport.
Should I be worried that my daughter says "Target is my favorite store ever!"?
Why, why, why, do people feel the need to touch my children with their nasty, grimy hands? Come on people, get a grip. Strangers, no touchy, non-strangers, learn to use soap and water.
How do you teach children to be kind and giving when the world around them is hard and selfish? I'm really having trouble with this since daddy isn't the whole goodwill and service type. I truly believe its not what you give them, but how you raise them. And my mother raised me to give to others. I remember my family adopting a family for christmas one year. I'm sure we couldn't afford that, but we did it anyways. I want my girls to see that side of life to appreciate what they do have.
Will my family ever go to church with me? Or am I destined to fight them forever?
Why didn't I get my date on December first, hmmmmm?
Why does the world feel the need to ask us when we will start trying for a boy? Seriously, do you really want to know that information. Don't you all know what trying means? Is it any of their business? Really, should be discussing this with the target lady? Well, as a matter of fact, I was thinking next thursday sounded good. Maybe I'll try it just once and see...
And finally, will I ever be able to convince my daughter that the Angel of the Lord is not a christmas fairy who brings presents to Jesus in his hotel, and she does not take the Holy Family to Disney World????

Big Sisters are SO Funny!!

2008-12-15T22:19:00.003-06:00

You just can't help but laugh yourself! Pause the music player at the bottom!

When Did We Become Adults?

2008-12-08T22:47:00.002-06:00

Perhaps this seems like a strange, rather profound question to be tossing out there on a Monday night. However, I assure you, there is a reason for it.
I was cleaning out my office tonight. The closet has needed the attention for quite awhile. And I ran across an old shoebox full of random stuff, carted around in all the moves. Inside this shoebox was pictures, letters, and other random stuff from my past. Pictures dating all the way back to grade school years, but most of high school and college. Letters that my friends had wrote me along the way. Cards that people had sent me. I, in my ever present quest to declutter, began to go through them, one by one. Reading each and every one of them. Took me forever.
I had several from an old high school friend. About our troubles as high school students. How this boy would never notice her. How it made me crazy to hear about it constantly, mainly because he was a friend of mine. (can't go it more, the innocent may read :) How hard and painful our lives were. The pictures of the proms, and birthdays, and all the cards from each other. How the whole world didn't understand our dilemma. How could we ever survive?
Well, I know it was very real at the time. And very painful. But I've discovered something. Pain is relative. Sorrow is subjective. And heartache is situational. But so, too, is love.
Sometimes I wish for problems to be as simple as they were. How did I blink and time flew by so fast? When did I go from getting ready for dances to getting ready for dance? When did staying up half the night involve children? And when did it become so important to get the latest Mickey Mouse Clubhouse movie, instead of the latest clothes?

Dear self from 10 years ago,
This current situation you are in may be hard, and you may be hurting. But get ready. You haven't experienced anything yet. True heartache is coming. True love is coming. While this situation, this moment, seems heartbreaking, the truth is that things in your life will break your heart more than this ever could. You will love more than you ever thought possible. And you will discover something far more important. You will discover that what causes you the greatest joy will also break your heart more times than you can count. You will know what it is like to love so much that you would give your life for them.
In a few short years, you will look back on this moment, and realize that the best things in life are not behind you, but ahead of you. The people that matter the most are some of the people you don't yet know. And the most beautiful things on earth, the best part of your heart, isn't even born yet.
But in 10 years, read these letters, smile, and find those friends back. See what they are up to. How life is treating them. Because chances are, none of you will even care about these days anymore. You will all be moving ahead, moving forward, and loving life even more.
Love your older, wiser self

PS: And when you look back on those pictures, remember, that skinny chick had never had babies, and did not live on bunny macaroni. So yeah, she did look like that, once.

The Christmas Swing

2008-12-04T20:48:00.013-06:00

On the quest for the perfect holiday photo...

We are getting in the full holiday swing at our house this week. Ellie and I started today, making our first batch of holiday candy. She was so totally proud of herself and her creations. So, we are continuing to decorate, listening to Christmas music, and learning about the true meaning of the holidays.

However, I still think that I have some explaining to do...

...because, contrary to popular belief, there is no fairy in the nativity.

I've Been Tagged!!

2008-11-29T22:02:00.002-06:00

How very exciting! My very first bloggy award! Thanks Jodi!

So, when you get a bloggy award, you must pass it on. That's part of the fun! My friend Jodi granted me my first award, and I am so excited to keep it going!

The Rules:

1. Mention the blog that gave it to you and comment on their blog to let them know you’ve posted your award.

2. Publish these rules.

3. Share 6 values that are important to you and 6 things you do not support.

4. Grant the prize to 6 people.

5. Mention the blog that gave it to you and comment on their blog to let them know you’ve posted your award.

Six Values That Are Important to Me:

1. Friendship

2. Generosity

3. Honesty

4. Empathy

5. Giving

6. Loving

Six Values That I Do Not Support:

1. Cheating

2. Lying

3. Selfishness
4. Demoralizing

5. Laziness

6. Mean Spiritness

And the six bloggers I am passing this on to are:

1. Andrea at A Family of Foxes - my new CVS hero and inspiration

2. Jennifer at My House of Six - my role model for nursing and mommyhood

3. Ann at My Family - cause she got a dog named after her by my daughter

4. Sara at The Kindler Family - for being a super sweet mommy and person

5. Pam at Brothers Forever- cause family is always first

6. Kylie at MkHolt Family - because I miss her and hope that she will come back soon :)

What I am Thankful For..And What I Am Not

2008-11-27T21:16:00.002-06:00

The best things in life aren't things....

Well, here is my list for this year...A few things I am thankful for...

my beautiful, wonderful girls-the best presents I ever got
their wonderful daddy-who could ask for more?
my two favorite doggys in the world
my job-in this world we live in, I am very much thankful for that
the roof over my head, next to all the new nice neighbors
my family-even if they can sometimes require constant attention (ahem-Emily)
my husband's family-even if I don't always show it
my country, and the fact that I can raise my children in the greatest nation in the world

And a few that I am not...

Teething-it sucks for all involved
Black Friday-whoever is taunting me with great bargains and massive crowds all rolled into an unholy hour of the night should be horsewhipped
Sequin projects for small children-they make an incredible mess that doesn't vacuum well
Molasses- my work friends will totally understand why

Now...onto Christmas, my favorite season of all!

Welcome Annie!!

2008-11-25T18:18:00.004-06:00

No, I'm not Annie, but would like to check out this parrott.
Ellie and her puppy walking in the yard

Kisses

More playing in the yard

Snuggling with her new "baby"

So I have had a super-duper busy week this week. Seriously slacking on the old posting duties. And there will be pictures when I get home from work tonight, but had a minute so I thought I'd get caught up.

First of all, Annie is not a baby, in case you at all were concerned.

Annie is Ellie's christmas present. She is a bitty golden retriever puppy. No, I am not insane, but I can't stand homelessness, and of course, baby Annie needed a home.

Annie was born the end of September with her litter. She was to be sold by her breeders. Well, lo and behold, they couldn't sell the pups. Nobody can afford to take care of a puppy in this economy. They couldn't care for the pups. They were bound for the pound or worse.

A friend of Matt's at work, it was someone his wife knew that had these pups. She found out, then Seth found out, and couldn't allow that to happen. So they went about finding homes for these puppies. And one of those homes happened to be ours. The funny thing is, Ellie had actually put a real dog on her Santa list just this past week. And then this fell into our lap. So we told her, she was getting her present from mommy and daddy a bit early this year.

She named Annie all by herself. She couldn't wait to get her home and start training her. She is absolutly beautiful and of course, Ellie loves having her own puppy to lead around. Kailey keeps watching her and getting so excited. Chloe is kind of ignoring her, but hopefully that will get better with time.

So for now, I will get going and post some pics later tonight. I am a sucker, I know.

But tell me, could you resist?

Another Week Goes By

2008-11-17T14:32:00.003-06:00

And I really don't have much to say about it. I have a video I will post when I can get some time. Kailey is loving bouncing in her jumperoo. They didn't have those with Ellie. Matter of fact, they didn't have a lot of things when Ellie was born. No bumbo. No jumperoo. No pink tea party exersaucer. Of course, all those things are now taking over my living room. Along with a dollhouse, some random babies and a homemade paper Hannah Montana microphone. You know, before we had kids, Matt and I would talk about how children didn't need all that stuff. Babies don't need all that equipment, kids don't need so many clothes, toys, vacations to Disney World, etc. Well, fine. I'm eating my words. Cause I'm tripping over toys, the closet is stuffed with my bargain shopping, and of course, we've visited the Mouse twice since Ellie was 2 and plan to return as soon as possible. Good thing we know how to do all of it cheaply :)

We finally threw the baby out of our room. Its about time, she is five months old now. It was just hard. She slept in the swing so long because of her reflux. So we began to transition her back to her cradle. Then she got sick, and has been sick for almost a month. She's finally getting better, but since she can roll both ways, she really had to come out of the cradle. So she's moved into her own room now. Although we still sleep in the rocking chair for a few hours each night. If she gets up to feed, she just can't seem to handle being flat on her back. Oh well, she probably won't go to college still sleeping on me in the rocking chair, so I can handle it a bit longer.

Ellie is way excited for Christmas. She's already put up her little tree, and is begging to put up the big one. I told her she had to wait, but I may cave by next weekend. She has her singing snowman out, and we got Kailey one of her own at Hallmark. Those are just the best christmas decoration I ever bought. She loves them and stays out of my pretty ones. I thought about busting out the Little People Nativity, but I may wait a few more days for that till she's really begging to get the decorations out. She wants to go shopping for Kailey's presents. She just about can't contain herself. Could be a long couple weeks.

I've been thinking about December 1st. We will have been married 6 1/2 years. I didn't get to write a post on our anniversary this year, since I was 9 months pregnant, just got out of the hospital, and had to throw a shower for my SIL. We really didn't even get much of a date. So major hint to daddy-find a babysitter and take me out somewhere. Somewhere that doesn't use crayons. I really deserve it. Really. (and if I don't spell it out, just like that, its not gonna happen)

Life's journey is not to arrive in heaven safely in a well preserved body. But rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, with a drink in one hand, shouting "Whoo, what a ride!!"

I think we're doing well so far. At least on the worn out part :)

You Are All Invited!

2008-11-09T19:25:00.004-06:00

You are all invited to my house tomorrow to discover the best meal solution I've ever found. You all know that I love to cook. However, with two children, I've found that the time for cooking is simply not there. That is why I am so excited about this product, Homemade Gourmet. It make cooking easy without additives, without lots of preservatives, and with my own food. They cater to so many different lifestyles, from vegetarian, to diabetic, to gluten free. This is all very important to me since I have family members that require all of these types of diets. I love that I decide what my family eats, and Homemade Gourmet makes it very easy to do this.
So come on over, 7:00 pm and see a demo of how to make four meals in four minutes. I absolutly love this product, so much so that I am becoming a consultant for the company!

For more info, visit http://www.homemadegourmet.com/, or email me!!
jrmady@hotmail.com

Wordless Wednesday

2008-11-05T13:00:00.004-06:00

My girls in their cute shirts
Ellie and her spooky pumpkins

The pretty witch and her adorable kitty

Smile Ellie with her soccer coach, getting her medal

Baking some Halloween treats!

Happy Halloween!

2008-10-31T22:01:00.003-05:00

Well, the witch and the kitty gave it up early tonight. I don't think either one is feeling their best. I'll have to get some pictures up later or tomorrow. Ellie had a good time going trick or treating tonight. She waited very anxiously for mommy to get home from work, then her and Kailey and I went out and collected our loot. She didn't eat nearly as much candy as I'd thought she would, but maybe tomorrow she'll be ready to eat more.

What Boring People We Are

2008-10-26T20:36:00.005-05:00

Now this isn't something I didn't already know. But when I think about our weekend as a whole, I am boldly reminded that somewhere along the way, we stopped being cool and started being, well, adults.

Saturday: I spent the morning at the Holiday Mart with my MIL and SIL. For those of you unaware of the holiday mart, let me enlighten you. It is a huge gathering of boutique shops from around the country. Tens of thousands of crazed, heel wearing, Coach bag toting women gather at this annual event in order to shop the hundreds of booths. They spend with abandon (my goodness, this place is from California, we must buy 1o!) The air smells of Christmas and the various dips you can sample. They carry around their wine (or beer, whatever your taste determines) and snap up designer clothing, christmas decorations, and custom made playdough and pillowcases. And while the idea is to get everything on your christmas list, mostly you get everything for yourself. I admit, I did almost fall prey to a beautful designer diaper bag ("that you can use as a carry on when your babies have outgrown it" said the skinny cute chick selling these that had obviously never actually given birth.) But if I'd have came home with a $200 diaper bag, my husband would've had some kind of meltdown.

Came home, did a bit of cleaning while Matt mowed. Had a lovely dinner of chicken nuggets and waffle fries. Finally got the girls to bed. Then we had a very romantic evening playing mario cart on the Wii. That is what we are reduced to these days. Eating pumpkin shaped cupcakes, frosted by a four year old, with fingerprints still in the icing, racing each other on a video game. Date night? Is that, like, a real thing that happens?

Sunday: Had every intention of going to church. Husband and children heavily against church. Did not go to church. Had to pray, again, for forgiveness for not going. Went to eat at inlaws. Discussed with my MIL and BIL about meditation, and how to center yourself. Decided that as soon as I had myself centered, a small child would urgently need some sort of snack or to tell me something immediately. Realized that my center was around my target list and if the leotard was clean for dance this week. Had lovely lunch, then left girls while we ran errands. Went to CVS, made out like a bandit, gave my thrice weekly donation to Target, went to Home Depot. Drooled over turquoise washer and dryer. Heard my mother in my head explaining that the reason this country is in its current financial situation is because people are in love with appliances. Realize I am in love with appliance, and horrified that this is the case. Must learn to love something besides appliances.

Went to the Babies R Us. Still didn't find a baby hat. Apparently, all the good mommies got their babies a hat already. So us slacker mommies are left with too big hats, searching all over town to find something appropriate for the babies with cold heads. So, Sunday, our 2 hours away from our children, were spent shopping for our children. Picked up girls, went to the Great Mall. Which is totally white trash heaven. Icky place with great bargains. Tried to dodge all the people who feel the need to TOUCH my baby while making a beeline to Carters. FINALLY found a hat. Thank God, I will not be seen as the mommy who can't put a hat on her baby's head.

Paid and had to stop at "the ducky store" (bath and body works outlet) in order to look for some american girl lotion. Found lotion. Found aromatherapy bubble bath for mommy. Mommy has no time for aromatherapy bath, but it'll look good in the basket by the tub. Will put it in the center of the basket. Maybe that'll count. Came home, ate leftovers, did laundry, baths and bed. More laundry for mommy, probably not nice bath.

10 years ago, I'd have been out with my friends this weekend. Maybe at homecoming. Maybe shopping for homecoming. And now I have a love affair with a wash machine and spend my days shopping for toilet paper and baby hats. How boring I've become in just 10 years.

Tired Some More

2008-10-23T08:59:00.004-05:00

Hmm, what is this?
Oh, I like food!

I worked all weekend last weekend. Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Had monday off, then worked Tuesday. Kailey got up about 5 times each night. So, I am totally exhausted this week. Like, your bones hurt tired. Ellie has had a bit of a cold, so she's been tired and cranky too. We are quite the bunch.
But I think we figured out that Kailey isn't getting enough to eat in the evenings, which is why she keeps waking up. I'm working on getting my milk supply up this week, but we've had to supplement her when I'm at work. I just can't keep up with her! We started her on cereal this week too. Actually, we tried giving her rice cereal last week. She hated it. Cried and cried when we tried to feed it to her. So, we waited until this week, and I bought some oatmeal cereal. And she scarfed it down. We gave her a bottle after I fed her last night, wrapped her in 2 blankets (cause our house is like the freezer at night) and she slept all night. With the exception of 2 paci retrievals by mommy :)
Not much else to say today. It's a pretty nice, boring day :)

Some Babies Are "Fluffy", and More Wedding Pics

2008-10-15T21:30:00.003-05:00

Aunt Heather, Great Aunt Deb, Bella and Ellie
Blowing some bubbles
Do you want a flower?
Me, my sister (obviously she got the cute genes) and the baby
Do you think anybody's watching us sneak some cake? (Aunt Holly, the bride)

Well, we survived the wedding. Now the bride and groom are off on their honeymoon and we are doggie-sitting. Note to aunt holly and uncle reggie-if I go down to the basement and catch the dog lounging on my couch again, she just might return to you stuffed.....

But at least she didn't pee on it :)

Ellie had fun seeing her minnesota family. She doesn't get to see them too often. We are very tired after the weekend, and are really just trying to get caught back up with things.

Kailey went for her four month checkup today. Now, you all know my baby is fluffy. I see all our dear friends, and their struggles with growing. Precious Olivia, who defied odds, born at 23 weeks and is now finally growing and gaining weight. Little Skyler, destined for the same food allergies that keeps his brother so tiny, still struggling to fatten up. My man Parker, at one year, is 19 pounds, from a 4 pound little peanut. And then there is my baby. Who, at this rate, will outgrow her carseat at christmas.

She is 15 pounds and 25 inches long. So not quite as fluffy as I'd thought she would be. But relatively so. She is growing just fine, and is a happy, healthy baby. I don't worry. Ellie packed on the pounds in her first 6 months as well. She was about 22 lbs at a year, and is 35 at 4 1/2. So I doubt Kailey will keep up her current growth streak. Although she does appear to be on an eating binge this week.

One last note-today is National Pregnancy/Infant Loss Rememberence day. Please visit Olivia's blog, and remember her sweet brother Logan, and all the babies who have left us too soon. And give your own babies an extra kiss tonight. I know I sure did.

Wedding Pictures

2008-10-13T11:10:00.001-05:00

My pretty flower girl
Ellie and Kayla getting ready for the wedding
Daddy and Aunt Heather
Our family-hope that picture turns out
Ellie caught the bouquet!

More pictures as I get them edited

Busy Week

2008-10-08T21:15:00.003-05:00

No new pictures, but I'm sure I'll have some soon. We've had a busy week so far, and it's not getting much better. The girls and I have been running around a bunch this week. I started back to work on Friday. Not as bad as I'd thought, but still want to be a SAHM.
Daddy and Kailey have been trying to work out some sort of routine on their home days. She is learning that Mommy isn't around 24/7, and that she'll survive just fine with her Daddy. She is laughing and giggling quite a bit more. Daddy says she is getting fun now. Now we are trying to get ready for the weekend and the sister in law's wedding. I will be extremely glad when this is over. And since I really have nothing else nice to say about this, I probably better say good night.

A Secret Obsession

2008-09-29T19:41:00.003-05:00

Miss butterfly
Well, if I was a giraffe, this is what I'd look like. But now mommy has to find a kitty.
I love my tea party!
Ellie playing soccer
Kailey observing soccer

Ok, I have a confession to make. I am a bit ashamed to say it.

A few days ago in Target, they have an aisle with Christmas cards and stockings and lights. Little pink princess trees and teeny ornaments.

And I was so happy!!! I know it is way too early. And I moan and groan with everyone else when I see it in the stores. But secretly, I love it!

I love Christmas. I love everything about it. The season, the music, the lights, the treats. I have been working on my super cool christmas card for months. (which, by the way, I am slightly irritated that my SIL used my idea for her wedding invite, but in all fairness, she may not have known I've been working on this since before she got engaged, and they don't read this anyways) The girls and I have been scoping out the ornaments at hallmark, and can't wait for the premier in October. I know Halloween and Thanksgiving need their day. I think so too, and I love those holidays as well. We are all decked out for Halloween around here. But I tell you, the tree would be up Nov. 1 if it were up to me. But, as to not appear abnormal, I'll wait for Thanksgiving weekend. I have most of the girls presents already bought. I love having kids to buy for. That is just the most fun ever. Pretty much everyone else it more difficult. I just am not into the whole present thing, I guess. I mean, I've made some nice homemade gifts for people in the past, who seem to not like them. They'd rather have something store bought. Which of course makes me kinda crabby cause I spent a lot of time and thought on something. Now I'm just ranting. That happens sometimes. My mommy is going to tell me to be nice. But the invoved parties won't read this anyways :)
Anyways, don't hate me, OK? I secretly love all those pretty ornaments and tacky character stocking. All the bright lights and ridiculous flashing christmas trees. The red and green next to the orange and black. I love it all. But, if you ask me in public, I'll deny it all too.

A Hard Thing to Write

2008-09-25T16:27:00.006-05:00

My first sweet girl, Ellie.
My second precious girl, Kailey.

I've been having a lot of conflicting feelings lately. My biggest has to be my feelings about my girls. Most specifically, Kailey. Now, I love my beautiful girls with everything in me. They are my life and soul. But I've been struggling to understand what it is that I don't understand about Kailey. It's very hard to describe, but something about her, I just couldn't understand. She is so much different than Ellie. Not bad or good, just different. She is her own little person, with her own mind, her own attitude, and her own sweet, delicious babyness. But something just kept making me sad, and I just didn't understand why. And I felt so incredibly guilty. How can I be sad? I've always wanted 2 girls. I have exactly what I want. Right?

Then, my dear sweet friend Jennifer wrote her post. Now you must know she is this wonderful person with four gorgeous children, she always looks so pretty and put together. Yet she is real, genuine and sweet. She writes just how she talks and lives her life the same way. She is one of those people you just want to be. But, I digress. She wrote this wonderful post about her daughter Molly. And when I read that, I suddenly understood. Kailey is not Ellie. She is my beautiful little precious Kailey. And I cherish her babyhood so very much. But I miss my baby Ellie. I miss her sweet smell, her beautiful smile. I miss that feeling I felt the very first time I became a mommy, and held my baby. (girl, you think you were young, I was all of 22, and got ratted out to the social worker for not going to bath class!) I miss her blue eyes, her fat little legs and her soft, chubby baby feet. She has grow from this adorable baby into this sweet big sister. When Kailey was born, I got a new baby to love. Another pair of fat legs, soft feet, and beautiful eyes. Her own beautiful grins and giggles. But a part of me wanted my first baby back. The baby that is forever gone. And how I am watching my new baby grow so fast right before my eyes and I desperately want to hold on to this moment for as long as possible. I need to savor these moments, because they go so very quickly.

So, I feel much less guilty today. Much less like there is something wrong me. That I can love my sweet Kailey, and still cherish the babyhood of my precious Ellie. Thank you to my friend, who bared her soul so I could know that I am not crazy.

Getting Stuff Done

2008-09-22T21:47:00.004-05:00

These are my toes...

Well, I'm tired. Really tired. I've been on such a mission to get my house organized. For some reason, that has become the symbol of a good mom right now. Organized house, clean kitchen, means that when mommy goes back to to work, the children will be fed and the house won't look like a tornado hit it. We'll see I guess. Ellie and I started getting out the halloween decorations today. We found the giraffe costume we bought last year for Kailey. But, Ellie also found her witch costume from when she was a year old, and now wants to be a witch. I can't believe, but it still fits, so I guess we can do that. But then I need a black kitty, not a giraffe :)

I don't know why I'm so obsessed with everything lately. For example, we already drink hormone free milk and eat hormone free chicken (hormones bad for girls.) And of course, sodium lauryl sulfate in shampoo and soaps. BPA in plastic. All those have no place in my home. But then I've decided that we eat far too many additives in foods. So I began doing some research, and I just can't keep buying such foods. Have you ever looked at the labels? High fructose corn syrup is in EVERYTHING! I think my daughter is sweet enough and hyper enough, don't you? No need for all that sugar. So we are eating foods with as few preservatives and additives as possible. Really, I don't know if all these things cause cancer, or early puberty, or neurological disorders, etc. The reasearch isn't conclusive either way. But personally, I like to err on the side of caution. I'd rather not find out in 10 years that I was wrong.

So since my girl is eating her hormone free, additive free chicken nugguts and bunny crackers, drinking her hf milk out of her BPA free super cool big girl cups, smelling like her delicious smelling soap and shampoo that costs a fortune, I gotta save some money! My bloggy friend Andrea has got me started on CVSing, and I finally went on my first run yesterday. Gonna try again this week. I made myself a huge coupon binder (like a big dork) and sorted everything out so I can start saving serious money. I mean, really, this healthy, organic lifestyle is really putting a crimp in my fun money. Ellie and I haven't been to Panera in like, a month! :)

Some Random Pictures

2008-09-14T17:26:00.002-05:00

I love it when I get to feed my baby a bottle!
And when you push this button here, it calls Grandma.
Ellie and her babies in their "sling"
My big sister is awfully funny!
Dear Santa or Daddy: Hint, Hint!

Kailey Loves Disney World

2008-09-12T21:47:00.003-05:00

Make sure you pause the music player at the bottom!

My Secret

2008-09-12T15:00:00.002-05:00

Want to know my secret?

Promise not to tell?

I don't want to go back to work.

Ever.

I want to stay home and be mommy every day. I don't want to worry about bringing home some icky bug to my girls. I want to snuggle my baby for all the precious time that I have left while she is still little. I want to dress up baby dolls, and go to pretend disney world every single day. I want to be that mom that picks her kids up everyday, and is here after school, and bakes cookies, and takes them to the park. The one who puts them to bed every night.

But I can't.

I have to go back to work. I have to contribute to the family. Namely, benefits. I have to make sure my girls see that women can and do take good care of their families and have careers at the same time. I have to show them that they don't have to be dependent on anyone for their own success and happiness. I have to keep fighting to make this world better so, maybe someday, they don't have to make such hard choices. That they don't have to worry about trying to pay for college. And can save for their own babies, and futures and dreams. And hopefully, work towards catching this nation up with other industrialized nations in terms of family benefits.

I have to fund real Disney World. And Europe. And all the places we want to take them.

I have to pay for dance lessons. And soccer. And ice skating, gymnastics, and whatever else they want to be involved in.

My girls deserve all that. And so much more.

So I have to go back to work. They'll be in good hands, 2 days a week, the baby with Daddy and the big sister at preschool. They will thrive. They will be fine, and happy. And I will take care of the sick babies, as Ellie says. And enjoy it. And be fine.

But I still don't want to go back to work.

Politics at My House

2008-09-08T20:48:00.002-05:00

Now this in no way represents the political views of the voting adults who live here. I'm really not foolish enough to lay all my views out there for all to view/debate/criticize. But I just have to share this. Today there was a rally for the McCain/Palin ticket in KC. So we, trying to educate ourselves on the impending election, were watching. And all of the sudden, I notice Ellie clapping. Then she stopped. And watched intently. And clapped again. And I said "What are you clapping about? Do you even know what this is?" Well, she said, that's John McCain. As matter of factly as she would have said, well, thats mickey mouse. "So, do you know who John McCain is?" No. So I explained that we would vote for our president this year. And I explained we had to choose between McCain and Obama. So, mommy can I vote? No Ellie, only people who are 18 or more? Is Daddy 18? Daddy is 28. "Well, that is very old, so he can vote."
This after hearing an ad on the radio a few weeks ago in the car and she just sighed "Yes, we KNOW about John McCain. All they talk about is John McCain. Can't we just figure it out and STOP talking about it?'

Four year old logic kills me :)

My Creative Nook, And Other Big Ideas

2008-09-06T13:30:00.003-05:00

Ellie's desk and the coloring desk (eventually for Kailey) in the back.
New desk and kid movie collection (notice the dog tail-between tripping over her and holding the baby, the pics aren't as good as I'd like)
My new scrapbook desk

Well, the first room in our home makeover is mostly finished. Matt built me a scrapbooking table based on a picture I'd seen in a magazine. I made a few design changes based our room, and he built it. It's wonderful! So big, plenty of room to spread out. He built Ellie her own desk in the corner for her drawing and art. And he built a low table for coloring. I am going to recover some pillows for them to sit on the floor. We need to straighten out the closet a bit more. It's pretty organized, but needs a little more attention, now that we took the doors off. That made so much more room in there. And find a new home for a few things, like the bookshelf with all Matt's computer books. And we took out that mostrosity of a desk we had and got something much smaller. We just piled junk on in anyways. Anyways, I'm so proud of it and my wonderful husband for building it. Now if the baby would just let me use it :)

We are working on the kitchen and playroom this weekend. Not nearly the project that the office was. Just painting and organizing and decluttering. I really, really want to get some of the clutter out of my house. We had to pack up and move so fast, I really didn't have time sort as much as I needed to. And I was too tired when I was pregnant. So now that I have much more energy, I am going to get as much done as I can.

Next hopefully will be our bedroom and bathroom. Both need painted. I am a serious fan of the $5 rack at home depot. We've painted tons of stuff based on paint we've found here. And it is much easier picking out colors. You either like it and it will work, or you don't. My kind of decision making right there.

The Ballerina

2008-09-04T18:25:00.002-05:00

Thank goodness, my new swing is here. Sweet, blissful sleep...
Thank you Grandma and Grandpa for my fun new toy!
It's pretty and pink and so much fun!
And I think my big sister likes it too!
Her very first dance lesson.

Ellie took her very first dance lesson yesterday. She's been wanting to do dance for awhile, but I just kept not getting it done. Finally got her signed up and remembered why I hadn't done it yet. Dance costs a fortune. An absolute fortune. But you should have seen my girl picking out her leotard and skirt, and getting shoes. When we finally go to the studio, she skipped right up to the teacher to ask if she should put on her ballet or tap shoes. She was so very excited. She can't wait until next week to do it again. We also signed her up for soccer, which starts next week, and we are joining the neighborhood playgroup next week also. It's high time we made some new friends. She can't wait to do all this. Daddy nearly choked on the bill, but just look how happy she is!

We got Kailey's tea party exersaucer out of the box. Ellie and my mom picked that out for her well before she was born. She seems to like it, and Ellie seems to really like it. Although she did tell me, after awhile "Mom, this is kinda boring after 80 minutes." Good to know she's advanced beyond infant toys.

The Things My Daughter Says......

2008-08-31T18:26:00.002-05:00

...that make me think I must go on a strict diet/exercise/beauty program:

"Mommy, your tummy is STILL big. Why is it still SO big?"

Ellie: "Mom, don't you have a comb or something"
Me: "Why"
Ellie: "Cause your hair is atrosious"

"Mommy, do you need some magic tea so you will be skinny"

Me: "This looks not good on me"
Ellie: "That's cause your still kinda chunky."

"Mommy sometimes when I sit on your lap, and Kailey isn't on your lap, I remember when she was still in your tummy, cause it still looks like she is"

And Finally:

Ellie- squashing and patting my tummy
Me: "What are you doing?"
Ellie: "I'm unfatting you"

The abuse I take from a four year old.

The New Monkey Highchair

2008-08-26T20:45:00.003-05:00

I can smile!
Ellie painting the office.
I'm not sure about this....
It seems awful big for me...
And it makes a lot of noise.

The highchair was Ellie's makeover of her old high chair. We ordered a new pad and toy for it because she really, really wanted the rainforest highchair. This was our, much cheaper, compromise (after all, it is the same basic chair.) But instead of the pretty navy design, I get to now look at the tree frog and monkey. Ellie loves it, and she couldn't wait to show it to Kailey. Kailey seems a bit unsure of the whole thing. Anyways, we got it out to have Kailey sit in while we eat, so she can sit up with us. Maybe then we can actually eat.

Short Update

2008-08-22T20:31:00.002-05:00

Well, she did fine on Tuesday and on Friday. She actually liked it as well. This is a much more structured preschool class. The curriculum is much more kindergarten prep. So we should learn much more about reading and writing and all that good stuff :)
There is currently an Extreme Makeover-office edition occuring at my house. I have grand ideas and I'll post pics when were done. But better start with the cleaning right now.

I'm a Bad Mommy!!!

2008-08-19T13:45:00.003-05:00

That's your picture, big sister?
You were kinda cute! (check out that smile-she may actually like us!)
Kailey's new love-snuggled in her sling
Big sister though she'd give it a try, too.

So, Ellie hasn't gone to school for like 10 days. And she didn't go for a week before that one day. So on that one day, Grandma and Grandpa picked her up as a suprise. She went home with them and then there was no school Friday when she came back. So this morning rolls around, we're getting her stuff around, packing breakfast, folding her cot blankets. I get in her bag to put her doggie in there and realize there are still art paper in there. Take them out and in the middle of them is a letter. Ellie is moving up to the next class. Earlier than we expected. Today as a matter of fact. Normally they have transition days, but since we didn't go to school, we missed all those. So I said to Matt "Oh my gosh, she's moving to the Fox room today." And she immediately freaked out. She does not do well with transitions at all. And, poor thing, no warning, just "oh, by the way" with backpack on her back and shoes on her feet. We told her some other kids would be moving up too. We told her to be a big girl and we'd take her to a special dinner tonight. We told her her new teachers were super nice and that we could give her old teachers a hug when she got to school. That seemed to ease her fears. But daddy said she cried a little when she left. I am having daddy pick up the new Hannah Montana movie for her today as a special moving-to-the-big-kid-class suprise. (Lately she's decided that Hannah Montana is really cool. To my knowledge, she's never seen the show or heard the music, but you know, Kyndal likes Hannah Montana and Kyndal is 6 and really cool, so it must be the real deal.) So I guess we'll see how it went. I feel like the most rotten mommy this morning, so I'll do what all good mommies do..bribe her back to happiness :)

Kailey's Baptism

2008-08-18T14:34:00.002-05:00

For some reason, I am unable to load pics, so later or tomorrow I'll try again. We had a busy weekend. My brother graduated with his doctrate in chiropractic on Friday, then we held a party for him here. And Kailey was baptized on Sunday, with of course, another party. I took her to the GI doctor today. He is going to continue her prevacid, which is making the world of difference for her. She is actually smiling at us this week. Maybe she does like us after all. Now maybe she will allow me to put her down once in awhile. I did buy myself a sling to carry her around in. She likes being "worn" around the house. I had a snugli-type carrier but she hates that. She is quite the opinionated little thing. Just like her big sister :)
I'm not sure what we are going to do about daycare for Kailey. Matt is still working from home, but we don't know how permenant that is going to be. He is currently looking for a different job since he has advanced about as much as he can with his current company. So really, I don't know how to even plan for it. She can't go to a center because the cost it astronomical for an infant. Honestly, I really don't want her to go anywhere. I am too scared to send her somewhere. She is the kind of baby that people can't tolerate. And thus, the kind that get shaken, beaten, or other terrible things that happen when people are stressed. Happy, calm, quiet babies aren't usually victims, its fussy, screaming babies. I can listen to her scream all day long, it really doesn't bother me much (I've been desensitized in my line of work :) But it might bother others. I just worry too much I guess. I'm sure I worried about Ellie too. But somewhere along the way, between broken bones, stitches and surgery, I've managed to forget.

The Beginning of the End

2008-08-13T17:10:00.006-05:00

The girls with their Aunt Emily

Today my baby sister started her senior year of high school. It seems hardly real that this could be happening. She is 10 years younger than me. I remember her being born, and so excited I finally got my own sister. I remember her at Ellie's age-I was in high school by then. I remember she loved makeup and "cluck-cluck" shoes even then. She wore only dresses, and she played dollhouse. She loved brownies and barbies. Sound familiar? Ellie is so much like Emily that it is scary sometimes. I see many more of Emily's traits and mannerisms in Ellie than I see even of myself. She was 10 when I got married, and was my maid of honor. She was 12 when she became an Aunt. Perhaps this is why. Ellie gets a cool, fun aunt, who gives her everything she wants and then some. Much more fun than mommy.
So, one more year of officially being a kid. One more year of fun before the real world sets in. One more homecoming and prom. I know she is ready for this year. I know she is excited. I can't help feel sad, for in a way, she is my baby too. And I'm not ready for my baby to grow up. And in another way, I can't wait for her to be an adult, to talk about all the things adult sisters share. But still, I am sad. I didn't cry at my own graduation. But I bet I do at hers.

Good luck, little sister, and have a great year!

Frantic Cleanup

2008-08-11T12:41:00.003-05:00

Ellie's "Margarita"
My Aunt Emily curled my hair
Great Grandpa Stallbaumer on his 81st birthday
Wow, this is, like, WAY too much fun..
I'm not sure I can stand it...

All right, so I'm taking her to the GI on Monday. My friend Annie talked me into it, and said that they probably wouldn't do mean things to my baby, just mess with her meds, which is what I think she needs. She has been so fussy in the evenings lately. Ellie sometimes had this "witching hour" thing, but NOTHING like Kailey. This girl can all out scream. I have discovered that she likes to take a bath. Not just any bath will do, only a whirlpool bath. She can sit in there and chill until the water gets cold. Of course, then I have to sit there too, lest she drown in the giant bathtub. Also, she's been sleeping for 6-7 hours at a stretch in her swing at night. I kinda have mixed feelings about sending my swings back. Yes, I think I would like nice, fancy, expensive swings that work, but I also like that my baby is finally comfortable enough to sleep. But, its gotta be done, so I'll just suck it up and hold her all night, I guess. She doesn't seem to like the bouncy seat as much for sleeping. Not as fluffy and cozy, probably. What can I say, apparently I breed particular princesses.

I have been recently introduced to facebook. That is, as my friend puts it, the ultimate time-waster. It is insane. I lived without this forever, and now I have to check it a hundred times a day to see if anybody is out there, and how many friends I have now. At one point the other night, I realized that the TV was on, but no one was watching. Matt was on his laptop, me on mine, and Emily on my computer, all on facebook! (the girls were asleep, I was not being a bad mother :) This is seriously abnormal.

Ellie went to my parents for a few days, and then is coming back for my brother's graduation and Kailey's baptism. We will have his party here, so I have to get my house in some kind of shape this week. And bake a cake. And buy food. And entertain guests. And keep the baby happy.

I don't think this no caffiene thing is gonna work out after all :)

Our Latest Dilemma

2008-08-07T10:20:00.003-05:00

An old picture...I gotta find the camera back!

We are back from the lake and I will post some pictures if I can find my camera under this massive pile of stuff. I forgot how much stuff you have to take in order to travel with a baby. We were completely packed in and still had to buy more diapers :)

Kailey's reflux was steadly getting worse. She just arched and cried for hours, poor baby. I called my doctor back and they wanted her to see GI and get worked up. Well that got me worked up because I know what they want to do to my baby and I am not about to allow that. Especially because I know she's not bad enough to need surgery, so they would just switch her medicine. Well, doctor my mother works for called her in some prevacid for me. And that has helped a bunch. She is more content after she eats, more relaxed, and doesn't seem near as fussy. I still think she needs more, though. She sleeps upright, I cut caffiene out of my diet (which has nearly killed me, you must know) I give her simethecone as well. What else can I do? Any ideas out there? My poor baby still is miserable quite a bit.

Well, now here's my newest dilemma. I have a starlight papasen swing that I got right before Kailey was born. So, she comes home and we notice the mobile doesn't work. OK, so call Fisher Price, who sent us an new moter. New moter doesn't swing. Called again, got a new motor. New motor doesn't swing. Called AGAIN. Got new motor. Motor does not swing. Now have 4 motors for swing. 3 do not swing, one does not light. Well, silly me, found a great deal on a nature's touch papasan swing at target. Bought it for her to sleep in at night, since she has to be upright, and it was cheaper than another bouncy seat. Guess what? IT DOESN'T SWING!!!!!!

Called fisher price. Expressed great frustration. They are taking the starlight one back and either fixing it or sending me a voucher for a new swing. And the other one? She said to try cheapo batteries! Apparently the name brand are too powerful for the swing. If that doesn't work, I get another voucher for another swing. By the time I get this all straightened out, she'll be too big for swings! But Kudos to FP, they sure have worked with me on this.

There Are Some Days...

2008-07-31T13:03:00.002-05:00

...when you love your children so much it hurt. There are some days when everything they do makes you smile, makes you feel so grateful to have them in your life. And then there are some days when you understand why there are some species of animals that eat their young....
Today, is a pretty good day. We are getting ready for the lake, Ellie is picking and choosing what she is going to take. Kailey slept in her bouncy seat last night. She slept better that she has yet. And she started smiling last night, so I know that she doesn't completely hate us. Ellie is so excited to go to the lake. She can't wait to take the boat. Matt didn't want to take it at first, cause you know, gas to haul it, gas to run it. But he said Ellie would be so upset if we didn't. I think that was a daddy copout, if you ask me.
I knew mommyhood to two would be difficult. I did not expect the new baby to be so needy though. Ellie has been such a trooper through it all. But earlier this week, Kailey was screaming, Ellie was crying because she got in trouble for something, and they both were quivering their little lips in the same way. And they both have a birthmark over their right eyes that, when they get firey mad, reddens. I do sometimes smile at this.
And now, I have a screaming baby again, and a preschooler that has asked me for the thirtith time what she can do now. Oh, for a warm beach and a fruity drink....

Christian the Lion

2008-07-30T07:57:00.003-05:00

This is just the most amazing video. I saw it on the Today show a few weeks ago and admit, I'm kinda obsessed with it. I even made Ellie watch it with me. Ok, I made her turn off cartoons so I could watch it again. Bad mommy! Make sure your sound is on!

http://youtube.com/watch?v=adYbFQFXG0U&feature=related

So Little Time...

2008-07-27T14:54:00.002-05:00

Checking out my toys
Look, I have 2 chins!
Ellie playing in the plants.
Hi Mom!
Just trying out the tube!

We are going to the lake next weekend, so Ellie and Daddy got the boat out and cleaned up and ready. Kailey and I went out and helped for awhile, but we had to go inside when she got crabby. She is a crabby kid. Really, she only likes for me to hold her. She pitches a fit for Matt when he is trying to settle her down. She is a big time mommy's girl. Wants to be held constantly. I'm holding her now, as a matter of fact. I told him not to take it personally, she just knows I'm her food source.

I really think I could get more accomplished in a day if she didn't insist on being held continuously. I'm sure her reflux is a big part of it. I just remember Ellie was perfectly content to watch me, as long as she is near me. People say second children typically are more content because they learn to live with less attention. Well, either she missed that part in the book, or decided she didn't like it, because she screams and cries and pitches such a fit if we are not constantly at her beck and call. I know she probably hurts. I wish I could make it all go away. I can't stand it when she chokes. But, if she wants to eat, she's gonna have to let mama eat once in awhile too. (and not just standing in the pantry shoving teddy grahams in my mouth!)

But then, you know, Matt says this is our last baby. And if that is true, I am perfectly content to hold her all day. I know the day will come when I will wish for a baby to want me this badly. So, for right now, I guess the bathrooms won't get scrubbed and the dinner will be whatever I can throw together with one hand. And I will just enjoy my babies.